Crush, I appreciate why you found Dave's link, above, a little hard to take.
I'm with the author of that piece 100%. All she's saying, in her very moving way, is that we can't run another person's feelings for them. If we love them, we stand by - and get along with our own lives - while they figure themselves out.
It's like that old proverb about the caged bird: let it fly; if it really is 'yours', it will come back.
Her "bird" did come back. Not all of them do. Believe me, I know how unspeakably painful it is to see someone you love turn away from you & act with no apparent regard for your feelings, even in normal social terms. It stinks.
Your husband's behaviour is, currently, crass and - well, downright rude! Of course you feel offended; hijacking family events this way would be unacceptable in a babysitter, never mind your co-parent and recent spouse! But ... if you can, let it go.
I'm not saying "let it go" out of any idea that you've somehow failed, or fallen short. You haven't, at least not in any way that matters. The woman who wrote that article seems to imply that she was right (and, by extension, everyone else is wrong). But that is *not what she says*. All she's saying is ... you can't force it. Let it go.
Build your life. Gather your friends. Love your children. Do your 'you' stuff. BE your self, not half of something. It's all you can do: it's the best you could possibly do, too! This is, also, the way to show your chldren how a person can respect themself, and to have pride in who & what they are
You have every right to be angry. Vent it here, in the pub with your friends, and down the gym - but don't let it rule your life, you're worth more than that. Stand your ground on things that matter long-term, while rising beyond the small things. It'll be interesting to see how his new scene plays out, when you stop providing the role of the enemy ... but that really isn't the point!
The point, for you, is The Life Of Crush
Make it a great story!
Edited:
Just realised this sound like a load of waffle without any concrete suggestions.
Example: football.
Leaving aside the atrocious manners of the 'other couple', your primary concern is obviously what this all means to your kids. Please don't think you have to manage your childrens' experience here - what's happening is happening and, as long as they feel comfortable they can discuss anything with you, they'll find their own way through. Don't underestimate peer power! At least half of any school class, these days, has complicated parentage. Your childrens' classmates will be far more savvy than you might expect, and will provide their own kiddy brand of support.
For you, the question has to be: Are you there because you really want to watch the game, or as a show of parenthood? If you've always attended every game, are a part-time ref and clean up the clubhouse - you belong there & your place is on the touch line. If you're just being a mum ... do the chauffeur service, and spend the match time having your hair done or phoning your friends.
Which is to say (stuck record alert) - be yourself, do what YOU do, don't be tempted to play the part of abandoned spouse!
Good luck,
AG x