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Old 28th August 2008, 05:42 PM   #61
val100
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 537
Re: Extreme PURE Hatred

1aokgal, please save your dignity and stop rising to this please. I am upset that nothing is being heard here and so much anger is being poured through the computer it is at best incoherent and to be honest have we not enough fighting in our own lives without having it here. No blame here but you are better than this. To our poster if things are sorted for you then fantastic I really hope you two find your happiness together. Please try and stop venting towards everyone who offered their opinion, it hurts when you don't hear what you need to hear but remember life is short and energy is best spent in a positive way.
The best thing you can do is walk away from this forum if it no longer offers you what you need. For some of us it was our saving. Should life turn for you and you find you need help I personally will welcome you and try to help. I would however urge you to stop the arguing as once in print non of this can be taken back. I believe you are better than the person your writing is betraying you to be.
Be happy love yourself and your life.
I wish you all the best
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Old 28th August 2008, 06:18 PM   #62
1aokgal
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Talking Re: Extreme PURE Hatred

Dear Val100,

I doubt that Ilakatilol will respond to anyone here who posts with well meaning advise. The fact is the discourse from her has been all vitriolic and incoherent.

I believe there lies the problem. One should not post when enebriated, is my thought.

Val100, I hope you are well and as always, your advise is welcome and astute.

Last edited by 1aokgal; 28th August 2008 at 07:00 PM.
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Old 28th August 2008, 06:44 PM   #63
1aokgal
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Re: Extreme PURE Hatred

Raymond...

It was pretty funny to read you were lumped into a "COHORT" or "YOU and YOUR GANG" so all posters who wanted to help or understand got lumped in the same bracket as a persecutor.

That is all illogical thinking. I feel sorry for the person in that much pain.

Last edited by 1aokgal; 28th August 2008 at 09:01 PM.
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Old 31st August 2008, 06:52 PM   #64
val100
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 537
Re: Extreme PURE Hatred

hey 1a0kgal,
Sorry I wasn't clear before you were as always very coherent and blunt.
I worry about our poster, personally I couldn't comprehend her writing. It could well be me.

I would have concern for her as there is so much anger there. Look at the name of the thread.
Sometimes I believe people should be told straight up however, I feel here there needs to be time and patience. I can't say why but I see something in her writing (when it isn't all that venomous writing) that makes me sympathetic and want to offer my support. However the reactions to you and Raymond are without a doubt uncalled for and unnecessary.

In all fairness 1aokgal you speak your mind and the joy of the internet is we can ignore what we don't want to hear.
I am posting on another forum and I get slaughtered regularly they really don't like me. Can't work out why as I never say anything bad apart from once I said exactly what i thought and i got lynched by some guy. I just ignored him.
The world would be so dull and boring if everybody agreed with everybody else.
We are all good people here we need to remember that.

Hope life is treating you well. I am doing well (and madly in some peoples minds) on rebuilding my marriage. I am a very different person from the little girl who was broken and lost last January when i first posted. I thank everybody here who supported me because without ye I wouldn't I believe have made it this far.

Anyway my kids are bouncing with happiness and the sun is shining, life is good today.
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Last edited by val100; 31st August 2008 at 06:57 PM.
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Old 31st August 2008, 10:05 PM   #65
1aokgal
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Re: Extreme PURE Hatred

Val100,

Your meaning was clear, Val100, and I took no adverse meaning from your post. I appreciate any feedback of yours. Our poster has mentioned twice she drinks when alone..and posted when she had a BUZZ. So that could account for the incoherency. I felt the anger and especially the repeated notions to, ".somene would feel sorry when she was dead"...was a warning signal. It is a cry for help and saying she is so angry maybe she punishes him, who ignores her, by doing something self destructive.

She mentioned her,"medical problems" twice and twice said the husband told her she was,"mental" when she had outbursts. Certainly, her postings were not those of a well adjusted person but more of someone in real distress. The fact is, she is not accepting any input from others and basically, sounds very uncomfortable around others. She also has a lot of low self concept that she is of a different nationality living in a foreign country where she feels she is not accepted.

The fact she is bi-lingual and educated doesn't alter the fact often people treat "outsiders/foreign born" as having less education or such as they don't communicate as well. I had a dose of that as I lived in a foreign country for 3 years. It took me 6 months to be language functional in that other language and I also lived in an area with left over issues from war. Many in this small village did not like foreigners there. I was careful because there had been incidents and watchful for my safety. I loved the area.

When one is isolated in another country it takes awhile to feel confident to make friends. My daughter was 3.5 and learned the language with lightning speed. So because of this experience I may have some empathy for this poster and what she might feel living away from her own country. UK has many cultures living side-by-side and it seems many will get together with others of the same background for comfort zone. I don't know where she resides and I once communicated here with a Brit living in so. Africa.

I hope your rebuilding the marriage works for you. So long as you are not dead it takes work to make a relationship with another. I am not sure I have much to add on that front as with my 29 year long marriage I see no end in sight. Most of this stability is due to my tolerance over many years and passivity that it cannot be changed or improved so on my end I made adjustments for my own happiness.

The truth is I met few who really have ducky happy marriages. There are some but some of the disasters we read here I don't know how they survived a day.
Take care of yourself. Your advise is always appreciated and welcome.

Last edited by 1aokgal; 1st September 2008 at 01:44 AM.
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Old 1st September 2008, 01:39 PM   #66
twiggy
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Re: Extreme PURE Hatred

This thread was started with someone moaning about there other half, that same person is now moaning about others on this forum, i'm shocked that your husband puts up with you, mind you it sounds like the drink talking.
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