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Old 13th October 2014, 05:19 AM   #1
PowerRanger
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Wife keeps bringing up the past

Hey folks, how you all doing?

Come closer, sit down and listen to my story...

Me and my wife have been married 5 years now, from the get go there were many arguments and I couldn't understand why.

Eventually I found out that she is an extremely jealous person, if I have any female friends in person or even on Facebook she would always bring it up and say wildly crazy things. This led to me disabling my Facebook account and not having any female friends.

It wasn't enough though, at my workplace there are only females, even that she is not happy with.

Truthfully when we first were together, I have to admit I wasn't a good guy at all. I used to spend a lot of time with my friends, both male and female and I felt like I gave them more priority than my wife.

A few years down the line, my wife became pregnant. It's then I started to pay more attention to my wife and our soon to be child.
I spent more time with her, did all the house work, went out less etc.

Once my child was born, I went through a radical change, one that I didn't expect to go through to be honest. My whole life now revolves around my beautiful daughter and her well being.

This also changes my daily routine which is now as follows;
Wake up in the morning, clean the house, play with my daughter, go to work, come home play with my daughter.

I am only giving one side of the story, and that's mine which I know is unfair for my wife. But it feels like no matter how much I change, how good a father or husband I am, the wife will always bring up the past.

My wife doesn't work and also sends our daughter to a young child school so she has a lot of time on her hands. She is a very emotional person and gets angry easily, this leads to arguments which I hate. Especially since we've become role models for our daughter, I wish she would calmly and logically talk about the problem, but she cannot.

What I want from her is to see some sort of professional, join a club, group or get a hobby so that she can maybe relive her stress/anger or whatever she has.

Any advice from any of you guys would be greatly appreciated, criticism is also highly appreciated!!

Many thanks.
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Old 13th October 2014, 08:56 AM   #2
chosen
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: Wife keeps bringing up the past

I wonder if she would benefit from counselling? Also does she exercise?

Is there any reason why she doesnt look after her own child at home like other stay at home mums? How old is the child?
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Old 15th October 2014, 10:12 AM   #3
Raymond
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Re: Wife keeps bringing up the past

I think you have to be careful with the opposite sex. Only you know if you are mentally faithful or not now or in the past. If you are clear on that then yes she may feel unreasonably insecure. Maybe things in the past still play on her mind. Trust is one of the foundation block of a marriage and this has to be built between you. We all know the difference between speaking to a female innocently at work and speaking to them in a flirtateous manner. If we do it right our wives will feel secure and trust us. Also it is important to avoid even the appearance of certain behaviours even if we think we are safe. Going to lunch on our own with a pretty woman for so called business or in some cases depending on the situation being alone in a car with a woman. It all depends but I think trustworthy behaviour will produce trust.. We have to be open books in a way and being open to our wives knowing the woman concerned instead of her being someone that our wives know nothing about, if that is possible of course.

If she is still insecure having done all that then she has a problem but I don't think we can say that until we have really worked on the trust which can take a long time.
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Old 15th October 2014, 10:25 AM   #4
ralfgarnett
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,076
Re: Wife keeps bringing up the past

Trust is so important, even now even though we are apart my wife and I still trust each other 100% we discussed it the other week and are in full agreement about it, I suppose that is a huge positive in any hopes we may have in future
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