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Old 20th September 2013, 11:23 PM   #496
Puglove
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Re: Husband has left!

I'm getting very upset that he is seeing someone else again! He still denies it and got very upset when he was accused of it a few weeks ago...and to be honest he has asked me to file for it so if that's what he wanted and he were seeing someone else he could say.
He's not "that type" not a ladies man and never has been. He said Tuesday when I said "you just be seeing someone else, why would you not even try?" His reply was "and you have been so nice to me to encourage me back haven't you??" He still denies it... But I can't help but worry.
I'm still 99% certain he isn't but the thoughts crept in! He keeps telling me to "watch out for me who want to take advantage, you deserve someone special etc" how come the thought of that doesn't rip his heart to pieces??? Or is he saying it to check I'm not "seeing anyone" ?
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Old 21st September 2013, 01:00 AM   #497
Puglove
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Re: Husband has left!

To be honest he hasn't left me for someone else he left because of me..point blank. He resented me for treating him like a child, for clinging to my mum and getting her involved, for not giving him appreciation and since he left texting him a lot and being Insanely clingy and paranoid.

That's not the me he fell in love with and that's not the real me but that's what I have been...hit me like a ton of bricks but...I ruined this marriage and I've been ruining any chance if him coming home.

It's not all my fault but.... My behaviour has not been acceptable
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Old 21st September 2013, 02:59 AM   #498
chosen
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: Husband has left!

You have tried your best and none of us are perfect puglove. If you are still texting him now please stop. There is nothing at all to be gained by doing that now.
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Old 21st September 2013, 04:51 PM   #499
ronnoco
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Posts: 391
Re: Husband has left!

Jo, you really are rock bottom at the moment.

I would suggest that if you haven't done so already, that you pray to God for help...seriously, give it a try. Tell him that you have had enough of this, that you need help to move on and "make whatever needs to happen happen"Put your faith and trust in him to guide you along whatever path you need to take and make good things happen for you - let him take control of this situation, take all this torture away from you. If you are meant to be together you will be....simple.

Pray as often as you need - I really believe you will start feeling better.
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Old 21st September 2013, 05:19 PM   #500
chosen
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Re: Husband has left!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ronnoco View Post
Jo, you really are rock bottom at the moment.

I would suggest that if you haven't done so already, that you pray to God for help...seriously, give it a try. Tell him that you have had enough of this, that you need help to move on and "make whatever needs to happen happen"Put your faith and trust in him to guide you along whatever path you need to take and make good things happen for you - let him take control of this situation, take all this torture away from you. If you are meant to be together you will be....simple.

Pray as often as you need - I really believe you will start feeling better.
I so agree.
Also when you are at rock bottom there is only one say to go and that is UP. However there does need to be acceptance first.
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Old 21st September 2013, 05:26 PM   #501
Puglove
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Re: Husband has left!

I can accept that he doesn't want me right now...but none of us know what the future brings and while I'm texting him and "waiting" for him as it were he has no desire to change etc as I'm still in the background ready and waiting. I don't think he knows what the future will bring right now as he is only focusing on himself and that's it. He's not moving forward one way or the other. He hasn't filed, he's not following through with his behaviour, he's just festering in a sea of misery and negative thoughts which would make anyone want to leave, but that is his choice.

I talk to my dad a lot, I ask if he can help sometimes. I take comfort in that
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Old 21st September 2013, 06:55 PM   #502
chosen
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Re: Husband has left!

Thats good puglove. He is always ready to help you.

Yes you just need to wait now to see if he files for divorce.
He has said several times thats what he wants and sadly you do need to accept it.

Last edited by chosen; 21st September 2013 at 07:29 PM.
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Old 13th November 2013, 07:44 PM   #503
LibraLady
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 89
Re: Husband has left!

O.k., although I am new here, I have to keep it real. First, I got married at 25 years old the first time. HUGE mistake. I was divorced by the time I was 27 years old. I wouldnt recommend anyone get married before they are 30 years old. You are NOT the person you will be at 30 that you are at 25, trust me. A whole lot of maturing has to take place and this situation is largely due to immaturity on both ends.

See this as a life lesson and not a failure. You will be all the more wiser the next time you get married.
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