Confused about responsibilities

I moved out of our marital home about 8 weeks ago at my wife's request. There was no adultery, violence etc. It was mutual.

I am figuring out how much I should/can pay to support my wife and 3 children, but due to the fact that I have not been working due to ill health I do not really 'have' and income at present, though do have savings I can draw on.

My wife continues to live in our marital home, and as far as I can understand it, the only way to force sale of the house is to enter into a legal agreed separation. Is that correct?

On a different note, do I/should I continue to pay 50% towards the mortgage and council tax? I would willingly do so, but as I am having to pay my own rent and council tax + bills etc, I do not have the resources.

What are my legal obligations as things currently stand (non legal separation) versus legal separation?

Thanks in advance


ADAM

[chosen]

I dont know what country you are in, but you must get legal advise about this. I am in the uk and the spouse who doesnt live with the children usually has to pay maintenance for each of the children, but cant see that you should pay anything towards the house being you arent living there and have your own home to pay for.
If you have a lot of savings then if you divorce you may need to agree to give her some of that as a lump sum, especially if you arent earning, and once the children are 18 you can sell the house and split the proceeds.
You must get legal advise though, and I am surprised that you and your wife didnt agree all this before you moved out.

I did get legal advice - and as it stands, as no formal or legal separation exists there are no 'rights' or obligations, but I am tempted to move things along simply because I can't stand the state of 'limbo'.

I'd like to sell the house, and the only way to 'force' this is to go down the legal separation route.

FWIW - It was 'supposed' to be an amiable and temporary split, but I can now see her intentions are different and I want 'closure' on the whole issue without paying a small fortune to a solicitor.

ADAM

[ronnoco]

Hi Adam,

If the mortgage is in both names, then you are legally responsible and accountable for it. It is probably in your interest to keep paying half each month until you both come to an agreement. In my eyes, you shouldn't be paying anything else such as council tax as you don't live there.

Child maintenance is worked out on your net weekly income and how many nights per week you have your children. This can be done amicably between you and your wife. You can use an online calculator and download and sign an agreement. It can also be done through the Child Maintenance Service. I'm not sure if savings come into play.

In all honesty, if your wife has 3 children living at that house and doesn't want to sell, I doubt a judge would force that sale. I know of a man in a similar situation who went to court and he actually ended up being required to pay the full mortgage plus child maintenance (he has a well paid job and adultery was the reason for divorce) He is required to pay the mortgage until the child is 18. At aged 18 the house must be sold of a buy out take place.

If you were able to buy your wife out, you could instruct a solicitor to write up a legally binding document that would facilitate a transfer of equity. This can take place before divorce. I did this.

A lot of this really depends on what your wife wants to do. If you have to go through the divorce courts there are many factors such as how long your were married, savings, pensions, etc - there is no one stop answer i'm afraid.

Hope this info helps.

[chosen]

Originally Posted by 1968creative

I did get legal advice - and as it stands, as no formal or legal separation exists there are no 'rights' or obligations, but I am tempted to move things along simply because I can't stand the state of 'limbo'.

I'd like to sell the house, and the only way to 'force' this is to go down the legal separation route.

FWIW - It was 'supposed' to be an amiable and temporary split, but I can now see her intentions are different and I want 'closure' on the whole issue without paying a small fortune to a solicitor.

ADAM

If the house is largish, then selling and both being able to buy something else is probably the best option. Remembering that she has the children, so will need enough bedrooms for them. However many couples cant afford to both buy a place, and one usually has to rent. I think you need to sit down with your wife, and possible a trusted third party, and sort this out.

What is she hoping to achieve by this temporary separation?