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Old 9th March 2015, 08:39 PM   #91
notDoneYet
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Re: My wife of 16 years wants us to split

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Thanks, I am learning a lot about myself. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and I just wish that I could have acknowledged and tried to address my shortcomings sooner and avoided all this pain.
N6 mate. I'm glad you are learning so much about yourself and are using that knowledge to better yourself. But remember you are not responsible for this. You played a part, that's for sure but you cannot shoulder all the responsibility. You are not responsible for your WAW's happiness. She is.
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Old 11th March 2015, 08:49 PM   #92
N654563
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Re: My wife of 16 years wants us to split

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N6 mate. I'm glad you are learning so much about yourself and are using that knowledge to better yourself. But remember you are not responsible for this. You played a part, that's for sure but you cannot shoulder all the responsibility. You are not responsible for your WAW's happiness. She is.
Mate, this experience has shown me just how delicate life really is and how things you thought so solid and stable can change so quickly. In some respects I am glad that this has given me a chance to take a really good look at my life and the way I have become lazy and taken things for granted. I am going to try and use this knowledge to be a better person, a better dad and hopefully a better husband in the future. I am pleased to say that things have taken a more positive turn in the last day or two with my OH and we are talking much more which has been really great. We are about to have a couple of days away together without our kids which we are both looking forward to. So if I am a bit quiet on here for a few days then it is for that reason. Thanks as always for your advice.
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Old 11th March 2015, 09:12 PM   #93
Lindentree1
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Re: My wife of 16 years wants us to split

That's wonderful! Good luck, N. Please keep us updated. Wishing you the best.
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Old 11th March 2015, 09:30 PM   #94
ralfgarnett
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Re: My wife of 16 years wants us to split

Same here N6 good luck mate rooting for you pal hope all goes well.
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Old 11th March 2015, 10:14 PM   #95
chosen
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Re: My wife of 16 years wants us to split

Good news.
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Old 12th March 2015, 09:30 AM   #96
notDoneYet
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Re: My wife of 16 years wants us to split

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Originally Posted by N654563 View Post
Mate, this experience has shown me just how delicate life really is and how things you thought so solid and stable can change so quickly. In some respects I am glad that this has given me a chance to take a really good look at my life and the way I have become lazy and taken things for granted. I am going to try and use this knowledge to be a better person, a better dad and hopefully a better husband in the future. I am pleased to say that things have taken a more positive turn in the last day or two with my OH and we are talking much more which has been really great. We are about to have a couple of days away together without our kids which we are both looking forward to. So if I am a bit quiet on here for a few days then it is for that reason. Thanks as always for your advice.
I'm really pleased for you mate. I do hope it works out for you. I've highlighted the part above for one reason. My situation has deteriorated quite a bit. I'm now no longer welcome in my own home. Not because of my behavior, I'm always pleasant and try my best not to be baited into fights. I just make her feel uncomfortable. This is the same woman I've been with for over 20 years. She had my baby. We held hands dreaming of the house when we bought it. Now she can't stand to be in the same room as me.
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Old 12th March 2015, 01:26 PM   #97
Raymond
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Re: My wife of 16 years wants us to split

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Mate, this experience has shown me just how delicate life really is and how things you thought so solid and stable can change so quickly. In some respects I am glad that this has given me a chance to take a really good look at my life and the way I have become lazy and taken things for granted. I am going to try and use this knowledge to be a better person, a better dad and hopefully a better husband in the future. I am pleased to say that things have taken a more positive turn in the last day or two with my OH and we are talking much more which has been really great. We are about to have a couple of days away together without our kids which we are both looking forward to. So if I am a bit quiet on here for a few days then it is for that reason. Thanks as always for your advice.
That's a good place to be. Sometimes it takes a crisis to show things up and for both of you to learn something.
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Old 16th March 2015, 08:44 PM   #98
N654563
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Re: My wife of 16 years wants us to split

Hi all, well I have a bit of a positive update for you all. My OH has told me that she knows it would be wrong for her to end it and she wants us to try again. She said that she knew that she would regret it and that our problems were not just me and that she has issues too which cloud her judgement and confuse her and make her want to run away from her problems. We have had a really great week, spending a lot of time together, going out and talking lots. Although I know it is early days and is 'work in progress', the signs are there that we can make it work again and be happy. Obviously I am over the moon and it has made me value everything in my life so much more and to take some positive steps to be a better person.

I know that a lot of you are struggling with your own situations at the moment but I thought sharing some good news on here might be a good thing. Thank you to everyone who has given me support and advice, you have really helped and I appreciate it.
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Old 16th March 2015, 09:00 PM   #99
Lindentree1
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Thumbs up Re: My wife of 16 years wants us to split

Quote:
Originally Posted by N654563 View Post
Hi all, well I have a bit of a positive update for you all. My OH has told me that she knows it would be wrong for her to end it and she wants us to try again. She said that she knew that she would regret it and that our problems were not just me and that she has issues too which cloud her judgement and confuse her and make her want to run away from her problems. We have had a really great week, spending a lot of time together, going out and talking lots. Although I know it is early days and is 'work in progress', the signs are there that we can make it work again and be happy. Obviously I am over the moon and it has made me value everything in my life so much more and to take some positive steps to be a better person.

I know that a lot of you are struggling with your own situations at the moment but I thought sharing some good news on here might be a good thing. Thank you to everyone who has given me support and advice, you have really helped and I appreciate it.
That is fantastic, N.! So happy for you. I'm glad your time away had such a positive result. Wonderful. : )
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Old 16th March 2015, 09:05 PM   #100
notDoneYet
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Talking Re: My wife of 16 years wants us to split

Quote:
Originally Posted by N654563 View Post
Hi all, well I have a bit of a positive update for you all. My OH has told me that she knows it would be wrong for her to end it and she wants us to try again. She said that she knew that she would regret it and that our problems were not just me and that she has issues too which cloud her judgement and confuse her and make her want to run away from her problems. We have had a really great week, spending a lot of time together, going out and talking lots. Although I know it is early days and is 'work in progress', the signs are there that we can make it work again and be happy. Obviously I am over the moon and it has made me value everything in my life so much more and to take some positive steps to be a better person.

I know that a lot of you are struggling with your own situations at the moment but I thought sharing some good news on here might be a good thing. Thank you to everyone who has given me support and advice, you have really helped and I appreciate it.
HERO!

N6 for our leader. Seriously so happy for you mate. Really delighted. I really hope everything works out for you. I suppose the only lesson we've learned while here is not to take our relationships for granted. Not a bad thing really.
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Old 16th March 2015, 10:25 PM   #101
N654563
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Re: My wife of 16 years wants us to split

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HERO!

N6 for our leader. Seriously so happy for you mate. Really delighted. I really hope everything works out for you. I suppose the only lesson we've learned while here is not to take our relationships for granted. Not a bad thing really.
You're so funny NDY, haven't you realised yet that it is you who we all look upto as our leader and the oracle here! Thanks for your support, like I said its early days but steps in the right direction.
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Old 16th March 2015, 10:33 PM   #102
notDoneYet
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Re: My wife of 16 years wants us to split

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You're so funny NDY, haven't you realised yet that it is you who we all look upto as our leader and the oracle here! Thanks for your support, like I said its early days but steps in the right direction.
Ha, ha. And yet I'm the only one who looks like a certainty for the big D. Mabe I'll go become a life coach....
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Old 17th March 2015, 04:28 AM   #103
chosen
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Re: My wife of 16 years wants us to split

Quote:
Originally Posted by N654563 View Post
Hi all, well I have a bit of a positive update for you all. My OH has told me that she knows it would be wrong for her to end it and she wants us to try again. She said that she knew that she would regret it and that our problems were not just me and that she has issues too which cloud her judgement and confuse her and make her want to run away from her problems. We have had a really great week, spending a lot of time together, going out and talking lots. Although I know it is early days and is 'work in progress', the signs are there that we can make it work again and be happy. Obviously I am over the moon and it has made me value everything in my life so much more and to take some positive steps to be a better person.

I know that a lot of you are struggling with your own situations at the moment but I thought sharing some good news on here might be a good thing. Thank you to everyone who has given me support and advice, you have really helped and I appreciate it.
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Old 17th March 2015, 10:22 AM   #104
ralfgarnett
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Re: My wife of 16 years wants us to split

Great news so pleased for you there is hope for all of us, keep posting let us know how things progress.
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Old 17th March 2015, 04:54 PM   #105
capital
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Re: My wife of 16 years wants us to split

You sound very decent. How engaging are you as a person - do you entertain each other in conversation?
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