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Old 23rd February 2011, 01:13 PM   #16
Kimberley1967
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Re: Christian Marriage Sex Forum

Who is to say what goes on in the bedroom for one couple is wrong for another obviously if no one gets hurt. I believe that when you are married and you have made that committment then the bedroom is a private place and what goes on between husband and wife is no ones business. I also believe that thinking aboout God at that time may be a turn off as mentioned by Mermaid it wouldnt excite me I have to say.

Although since getting married our sex life has gone from strength to strength and I thought it was pretty wonderful before. The only man I think about is my husband even though it was a close call between him and Robbie Williams for a long time!

I believe that what goes on in the bedroom should stay there. I dont believe that God was specific in his details in the bible about sexual activities only that adultery was one of the deadly sins but I could be wrong so dont all fire quotations at me all at once.
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Old 23rd February 2011, 01:45 PM   #17
chosen
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Re: Christian Marriage Sex Forum

I love it that God is included in our bedroom. My husband often prays that God will bless our sex life. God made us into sexual beings and he designed us to enjoy it.
Biblically God does say not to include anyone else(and that would also include porn surely?) and he also says that anal sex isnt allowed(bestiality). I cant see that Sadism and masochism would be very godly either, as it is a distortion of what loving sex should be, and also, clearly, not sex between 2 men or 2 women.
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Old 23rd February 2011, 02:05 PM   #18
Raymond
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Re: Christian Marriage Sex Forum

Kimberley's comments make a lot of sense to me. The rules would be no third parties which would include porn etc. as Chosen has said. Obviously we are not thinking about God directly at the time but one is still grateful in their heart to God for His blessings. I have learned to pray before the time in certain situations. You have a lot to thank Him for in that area Kimberley as have I.

I am not sure about anal sex as I know a lot, even christians, do this. It is not bestiality as that is about animals. It is not my cup of tea but if we are sticking to the precept that the marriage bed is undefiled I don't think we can judge others who do this. Sometimes we can imagine the worst when the reality may be nothing like what we imagined.

Same with oral sex. I know the teachers at Ellel speak against this and yet it is accepted widely in christian circles. Have you faith? Have it to yourself. If they have faith why should I judge.

S&M on the face of it is not right if we take the real meaning of those words. Masochism is wanting punishment which is very unhealthy. However there are a small percentage who are switched on through stimulation in this area which can be nothing to do with masochism (a kind of self hatred and low self esteem) or punishment.

Last edited by Raymond; 23rd February 2011 at 02:17 PM.
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Old 23rd February 2011, 04:09 PM   #19
chosen
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Re: Christian Marriage Sex Forum

I think that bestality means "like a beast"not just having sex with an animal.
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Old 23rd February 2011, 10:04 PM   #20
Raymond
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Re: Christian Marriage Sex Forum

It's spelt bestiality and it can be looked up on the internet, which should show the nature of it. It is a horrible thing and as you rightly point out it is forbidden in the bible. Lev 18:33.
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Old 23rd February 2011, 10:37 PM   #21
chosen
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Re: Christian Marriage Sex Forum

As is sex between men(anal sex).The back passage isnt designed for a penis, the vagina is. The muscles go the wrong way, and it can cause damage, especially later in life. It is designed for excreeting waste, and not for things to be put into it.
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Old 24th February 2011, 09:44 AM   #22
Raymond
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Re: Christian Marriage Sex Forum

I tend to agree with you Chosen but I don't know if that is all there is to it.

I know that many christians will disagree with you. I prefer not to judge them.
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Old 24th February 2011, 09:51 AM   #23
chosen
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Re: Christian Marriage Sex Forum

having had pesseries inserted a few times,(painful and not nice) the thought of anal sex makes my eyes water. The vagina is designed to stretch for the penis, and the anus doesnt in that way. Real damage can result, including muscle damage resulting in all sorts of problems.
As you say God judges anyway.
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Old 24th February 2011, 10:57 AM   #24
Kimberley1967
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Re: Christian Marriage Sex Forum

I dont like porn never have and went to a convent school where touching yourself was also said to be very wrong. I still wont have porn in my house and never have touched myself I know that you all probably think thats a bit odd but it was the way I was raised and I dont think about it because I havent.

I sometimes have thoughts about my husband saying naughty things to be during the action so to speak but I get the impression he dosent like it so I dont ask and just enjoy fantasies in my head always of him though as we are newly weds. I guess when we are younger and there are no kids in the house etc you can be more open and have sex else where in the house or other places but nothing brings you down to earth than one of the kids banging on the door!

Last edited by Kimberley1967; 24th February 2011 at 10:58 AM. Reason: spelling mistake
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Old 24th February 2011, 01:58 PM   #25
Raymond
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Re: Christian Marriage Sex Forum

Most inconsiderate kids. I trust you have a lock on the door.

A lot of couples enjoy specific verbal talk Kimberley so you are not alone. Sometimes I like my wife to do it but it doesn't come naturally to her and so it loses it's point really. Is it because I also went to a convent school at one stage? Maybe it's because of keeping pure all that time and now it is legal so to speak one needs to go the other way?

My wife also felt it was wrong to touch herself as it happens. So did I before marriage. I think you get a broad range of views on these things but I think you have the main point in that it is your husband and not some other person in your fantasies. It's what is happening in your head which is the important thing.
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Old 25th February 2011, 11:06 AM   #26
Kimberley1967
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Re: Christian Marriage Sex Forum

Yes the convent school rules really stick dont they.
It dosent bother me my eldest daughter thinks however I am the world's biggest prude! Each to their own. I know what you mean about initimate conversations in the bedroom if the other person dosent really enjoy it, its not worth it as it kinda kills the moment.

Must get lock on the door. Whilst my teenagers are in the other part of the house and are oblivious when my husband's kids stay they are 6 and 8 and nothing cools everything down like a hammer on the door.

Fantasies are okay like you say especially when they are about the one you love and are with. I personally think God looks down on us but realises there are personal times and keeps out of that. This has been my personal view.

I do still find that in times of unhappiness and seeking guidance I go to the local church and sit in the chapel and think things through. Although no longer a keen churchgoer for a number of years. I think faith keeps you going.
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Old 25th February 2011, 06:58 PM   #27
Raymond
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Re: Christian Marriage Sex Forum

You have to stick to your principles Kimberley. What is a prude? Some say it's those that do not have sex outside of marriage. If so I am a prude. My thought about it is those who find it difficult to enter the open sexual relationship that should be in marriage. I haven't heard anything from you to show that you are a prude.

The word is an old French word that means honourable woman and only became a derogative term because it was used against those who did not share their immoral standards.

As you say fantasies are okay so long as it is about your spouse. Unrealised fantasies must eventually bring frustration though. Some of mine happen and some die a death. That's okay. It's all part of adjusting to the one you are married to. I think all the fantasies are mine. My wife doesn't appear to have any so it all comes from me. She does say I am exciting. So that is something.

Yes get that lock. You don't want the boys barging in. Hopefully it's easier when they are not there.

This is my second try of this post as I lost the first one but this is nothing like the first one?

I have been in two convents and a couple of other places and know all the instructions. Deep down I was always afraid I'd have to be a monk or priest. I didn't want a life with no sex. When I left I went to church a few times, probably out of fear and eventually dropped off.

Later as an adult I found out that the important thing was a relationship with Christ. When an invitation came I asked Him in and have never looked back since. Funny how I never heard about that in the convent. They didn't seem to show us any scripture. Only catechism and certain rules.

I am waffling on now as I am tired from a hectic week.

When I said intimate talk I meant mentioning intimate parts in an erotic way and what was going to happen. Not any swearing which I think would be demeaning, but nevertheless something that you would never say outside of the bedroom.
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Old 28th February 2011, 02:05 PM   #28
Kimberley1967
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Re: Christian Marriage Sex Forum

I know what you mean.
I found Nuns strict and I hate to say it not very nice! Its strange that I left in 1982 but I still remember what they thought you should do and not do in many realms of life.

Had a long tiring awful weekend with the stepchildren result husband and I not speaking! So definiately no bedrooms antics for a while.

Take care.
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Old 28th February 2011, 09:22 PM   #29
Raymond
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Re: Christian Marriage Sex Forum

Don't let it go on too long Kimberley. It seems to me you have to work a little at accepting his children. I know you find it hard but that is part of him.
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Old 10th April 2011, 10:57 AM   #30
Chamomile
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Re: Christian Marriage Sex Forum

I'm quite surprised by the very candid content of this thread. It's very remarkable and praiseworthy Praise the Lord!!

As for anal sex, I believe there's an extensive Biblical reference as in Sodomy.

Quoted from Wiki

Sodomy (pronounced /ˈsɒdəmi/) is a term used in the law to describe the act of "unnatural" sex, which depending on jurisdiction can consist of oral sex, anal sex, or any non-genital to genital congress, whether heterosexual, homosexual, or with human or animal.

In modern German, the word "Sodomie" has no connotation of anal or oral sex, and refers specifically to bestiality.

I agree with everything Chosen had said. I have heard about a famous female porn star ending up getting some emergency operation to fix her 8 inch "rip".
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