my marriage is hanging by a thread help
My marriage is hanging by a thread, story so far been wed 2 and half years, been together nearly five. I have 5 kids from first marriage and past relationship. husband basically went off sex just after we married, tried working on it, he rarely gives me a cuddle, now i'm lucky if we have sex once a month and its over in 2 minutes so i dont get anything out of it except a cuddle, his motto " well i,ve emptied my sacs" moving on i've tried and tried talkin to him over a long period of time but it only causes argments because he isnt listening. Excuses he's no privacy, i said lets fit a lock, 2nd the kids will hear us, so i bought him a cd player, 3rd doesnt feel like it, but we only do it when he wants, tried waitin till the kids are in bed but he's tired, only works 7 hours a day, i'm on the go from 7 till 10 at night, when i try to get close to him he'll playfully nip me, tells me its his families fault because he was never cuddled, rarely kisses me either, i would like to think im pretty, he is overweight but i still desire him. He goes froom one length to another, last year it took its toll and i ended up with clinical depression because of the situation we are in. I tried talking to him leaving it for weeks, he is so set in his ways that he comes in has a shower waits for tea, watches tv, goes to bed at 9, and we have to follow his routine so the house is quiet. i spend everyday on my own lifting and laying, feelin worn down, he tells me we should say together because we love each other, i am miserable living in this house, it has so many bad memories for me as my ex was bad to us but it is a large house and i've even said to my husband lets make a new start somewhere else because i also have a long running court case with my ex over contact and it has also worn me out and i just feel there is nothing here for me but he wont hear of it because he wants to buy the house. i have had a hell of a time with my ex and i finally went out and said something to him after 5 years and all my husband could say was we were acting like kids. my ex tried putting me down saying i was a bad mother which isnt true and all my husband said was well she's kept her family togethr for 18 years. he didnt fight for me so when we got inside i told him that i felt he let me down and he said i didnt know you wanted me to say anything. i feel now that i cant talk to him now because he says everything i say is a moan and he is sick of me. Ive had so much going on and all i was looking for was some support and i dont feel i have any. he says i dont even have friends but i do its just that i cant get out in the evenings because he moans if i go out and then accuses me of never being in. he says he cant make friends because i wont let him to the pub, but ive no problem with that, except he used to have a big drink problem and doesnt know when to stop and can be aggressive but he would never hit me. also he has debts from before me and he is just working to pay them and i pay the rents , the bills the food and eveything else so i would resent him spending money when he doesnt give me any. he can be a very nice person but rarely is he with me any more and he blames me for everything now, im not allowed an opinion because then im being honest and that just angers him as well. i came to the desision today that i've had it but i dont want him to go but he is not going to try if he stays. i tell him i love him everyday, i give him cuddles and kisses but its never returned, he is having an affair and he tells me he desires me but he has a funny way of showing it. what will i doo?
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