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Old 13th April 2015, 08:11 PM   #1
loveshocked
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Join Date: Apr 2015
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newlywed marriage problem

Hell everyone,

I am seeking some advice on how to fix a problem I'm dealing with as a newlywed.

My wife complains a lot about little things I occasionally forget to do and makes me hear about it . for example she complains about me putting recycling in a certain location or not putting the dishes in the dishwasher in the mornings etc. The thing is we both do these things. There have been many times where she will forget to pick up her pop cans her wipe the sink down after using it etc but when I see this I usually end up just picking up the pop cans or cleaning the sink. I have always done this without complaining but I feel like she doesn't notice that I do these things and I don't want to do what she does because I think it'll just lead to fights and just hurt our relationship and we should be helping each other get better

Any solutions on how to fix this problem?
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Old 13th April 2015, 08:43 PM   #2
notDoneYet
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 1,297
Re: newlywed marriage problem

I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you and your wife haven't lived together for very long? You'll get into a rhythm, but please for goodness sake don't live your life in the "anything for a quiet life" mode. Pick your fights carefully. This is a silly one so tell her so. Peace.
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Old 13th April 2015, 08:46 PM   #3
chosen
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Re: newlywed marriage problem

Communication. Tell her how you feel in a calm and nice way, Listen to her answer, and agree to a plan of action.
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Old 13th April 2015, 09:10 PM   #4
Lindentree1
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Re: newlywed marriage problem

I am guessing as NDY said you didn't live together before? Even so, they say the first year of marriage is the hardest. I don't know if that's true, but it's common for people to nit-pick at the beginning. Like Chosen said, try to calmly communicate with her to find a solution. You'll get through this. You're a newlywed. You'll get your rhythm in time.
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Old 20th April 2015, 12:12 PM   #5
uthterii
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Re: newlywed marriage problem

I have always done this without complaining but I feel like she doesn't notice that I do these things and I don't want to do what she does because I think it'll just lead to fights and just hurt our relationship and we should be helping each other get better.???
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Old 21st April 2015, 05:48 PM   #6
Raymond
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Re: newlywed marriage problem

It's a difficult one. I used to mention about cobwebs and other things that she doesn't see. Nowadays I say nothing and do the cobwebs myself in a loving spirit. Same as countless things. The main thing is to avoid a critical spirit which can destroy a marriage. Don't worry about getting credit for what you do. You can overcome wrong with good and it works. Your love will shine through if you work at it and that is the most important thing.

Both spouses will have faults but it is not good to dwell on the others faults as we all have them. Compliment her on what she does. She will notice what you do but don't go on about it. Some things go on and on. I still can't get used to putting on slippers indoors when I come in as I am often out and in. If I think of it I will do it but there are much more important things in life. Part of marriage is adapting to the other and that will happen naturally provided you both have good intentions.
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