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Old 9th May 2015, 10:33 AM   #1
ralfgarnett
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10 months today

Well it's May 9th and basically that means I have been on my own for 10 months now, I don't know what I should do, its been a hell of a long time, I reckon around 40 weeks, over 300 days mostly alone and all those nights definitely alone, we would of been together 20 years at the end of this month May used to be my favourite month of the year, it was fresh, clean, optimistic, we last went away last May and it seems like yesterday, is it too late for us to reconcile if the opportunity arose ?, should I contact her to ask to try again ?, she might be waiting for me to make the move she might feel as though she cant come back until I ask her as it was her that left, what should I do ? I feel 10 months is a benchmark and should be recognised some way but I don't know what to do if anything, somebody please advise me I feel stuck today.
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Old 9th May 2015, 11:05 AM   #2
chosen
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Re: 10 months today

The priest asked her only a few weeks back ralf, and she said she wasnt coming back. I am sure that IF she changed her mind, it wouldnt be too late to work on reconciliation, but as we have said before you do need to accept that its over unless you ever hear any differently(which looks very unlikely)

I am sorry but I do think you have to come to terms with this fact or you will never move on.
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Old 9th May 2015, 11:17 AM   #3
ralfgarnett
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Re: 10 months today

Quote:
Originally Posted by chosen View Post
The priest asked her only a few weeks back ralf, and she said she wasnt coming back. I am sure that IF she changed her mind, it wouldnt be too late to work on reconciliation, but as we have said before you do need to accept that its over unless you ever hear any differently(which looks very unlikely)


I am sorry but I do think you have to come to terms with this fact or you will never move on.
I don't want to have to move on I was quite happy as I was, we had a lovely life together why cant she see that ?.
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Old 9th May 2015, 01:05 PM   #4
chosen
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Re: 10 months today

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Originally Posted by ralfgarnett View Post
I don't want to have to move on I was quite happy as I was, we had a lovely life together why cant she see that ?.
I know you dont want to, but sadly there are things that we have to do in life that are hard.
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Old 9th May 2015, 03:49 PM   #5
Lindentree1
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Re: 10 months today

Quote:
Originally Posted by ralfgarnett View Post
Well it's May 9th and basically that means I have been on my own for 10 months now, I don't know what I should do, its been a hell of a long time, I reckon around 40 weeks, over 300 days mostly alone and all those nights definitely alone, we would of been together 20 years at the end of this month May used to be my favourite month of the year, it was fresh, clean, optimistic, we last went away last May and it seems like yesterday, is it too late for us to reconcile if the opportunity arose ?, should I contact her to ask to try again ?, she might be waiting for me to make the move she might feel as though she cant come back until I ask her as it was her that left, what should I do ? I feel 10 months is a benchmark and should be recognised some way but I don't know what to do if anything, somebody please advise me I feel stuck today.
I guess I would keep up the NC and work on you. From what you've said here, before NC when you emailed her you would get disappointed at the lack of response. Unless you have any ideas to do something differently that would have another outcome I'm not sure what else you can do.
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Old 9th May 2015, 04:04 PM   #6
ralfgarnett
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Re: 10 months today

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Originally Posted by Lindentree1 View Post
I guess I would keep up the NC and work on you. From what you've said here, before NC when you emailed her you would get disappointed at the lack of response. Unless you have any ideas to do something differently that would have another outcome I'm not sure what else you can do.
Hello Lindentree, no I have no new ideas I think my brain is exhausted trying to think of new ways to deal with the problem, maybe I should just try to switch off from it in order to give myself a rest because its constantly going round my head and it is very tiring as you know only too well.
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Old 9th May 2015, 05:55 PM   #7
Lindentree1
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Re: 10 months today

Quote:
Originally Posted by ralfgarnett View Post
Hello Lindentree, no I have no new ideas I think my brain is exhausted trying to think of new ways to deal with the problem, maybe I should just try to switch off from it in order to give myself a rest because its constantly going round my head and it is very tiring as you know only too well.
I know. I wish it were an easier process. I really don't have any ideas, either. I guess you could try distraction techniques when you start thinking about her. Just start doing something else when thoughts of her come up. Easier said than done, but if you keep practicing that technique it might very well work for you in time.
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Old 9th May 2015, 08:17 PM   #8
chosen
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Re: 10 months today

Quote:
Originally Posted by ralfgarnett View Post
Hello Lindentree, no I have no new ideas I think my brain is exhausted trying to think of new ways to deal with the problem, maybe I should just try to switch off from it in order to give myself a rest because its constantly going round my head and it is very tiring as you know only too well.
yes stop trying to think up ways, there arent any. If she wants to come back she will let you know, but for your own sake, you need to stop trying to work it all out.
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