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Old 16th February 2015, 08:26 PM   #1
ralfgarnett
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Is it normal to feel so down ?

I went back to see my GP this morning and he has prescribed me extra medications to cope with my depression and anxiety, I already take buspirone, mirtazapine, and zopiclone, but today he has prescribed me diazaipam for as or when and also amitriptyline, so there are 5 medications especially for depression, anxiety, and broken sleep, but I still miss my wife and would do anything to have her back, I am practically rattling with tablets but is it normal to feel so down, depressed, lost and lonely ? so much so that I am taking all these meds, must admit today hs been tough, I woke at 2am and had a 6 hour panic attack so it has taken its toll on me a bit, but I am getting worried about myself and 2 people today have said they are worried about me, I hate this life at the moment, I fell on Saturday and have hurt my collar bone, both arms and my knee so not having a good time really, I have not even been praying as much as normal I feel as though he has given up on me.
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Old 16th February 2015, 09:31 PM   #2
chosen
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Re: Is it normal to feel so down ?

You may have given up on Him, but He will never give up on you.

TRy not to take diazapam too often. Its hard to come off if you take it regularly for a long time. I think that once you can cut off contact completely and begin to accept what has happened, you will begin to heal faster.
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Old 16th February 2015, 09:34 PM   #3
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Re: Is it normal to feel so down ?

I don't really know if you have ever given your life to Christ Ralf but one thing I know is that He will never leave you or forsake you once you have asked Him in, so don't believe the lie that He has given up on you. I would keep praying to Him not only for your marriage but for salvation in your present circumstances. Our relationship to Him is paramount, even above our marriage. He must always come first as every good gift comes from Him. He always want to bless us but nothing must come between our relationship to Him.

I have had a verse on my heart for the past two months so I will share it.

As the living Father has sent me and I live because of the Father, so he that feeds on Me will live because of Me. John 6:57 I believe.
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Old 17th February 2015, 09:59 AM   #4
ralfgarnett
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Re: Is it normal to feel so down ?

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You may have given up on Him, but He will never give up on you.

TRy not to take diazapam too often. Its hard to come off if you take it regularly for a long time. I think that once you can cut off contact completely and begin to accept what has happened, you will begin to heal faster.
hello chosen and Raymond, acceptance is the problem to me, I saw nothing coming, there were no signals nothing just normality in our life together, but now here I am and everything has been taken from me, happiness, marriage, closeness, lifestyle, friendship she was my best friend too, all gone, and now here I am surviving day to day on medication to get by, not much of a life, I haven't seen anyone to talk to since yesterday morning and I don't know when I will see someone again and it scares me, I could easily go days here without seeing someone to talk to, I have to go out for a walk in order to see people, that's no life for a 50 y/o man that was so motivated, so well thought of, so dynamic even, nope not the life for me I really do want it to end asap, cant go on like this its crippling me and dragging me down, I used to get up early because of the business but now I drag myself out of bed much later because I cant see the point of getting up for just another pointless empty lonely day in a grey old northern town with grey people, grey rooftops, grey skys and grey streets everything is grey including my hair which is getting much more grey in it than ever before, my face is grey, I'm just very unhappy and lost, I wish my mum was still around she would of given me some love, but she died knowing that her youngest was in good hands with a once fabulous wife, not sure what my mum would make of her now.
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Old 17th February 2015, 11:18 AM   #5
Raymond
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Re: Is it normal to feel so down ?

I am sure there is something to thank God for Ralf. You have to try.
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Old 17th February 2015, 02:35 PM   #6
chosen
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Re: Is it normal to feel so down ?

I think that it would do you good to get a job where you have to go out for work, even if its only part time. Even one day a week volunteering for a charity or something would help you.
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Old 17th February 2015, 09:31 PM   #7
ralfgarnett
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Re: Is it normal to feel so down ?

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I think that it would do you good to get a job where you have to go out for work, even if its only part time. Even one day a week volunteering for a charity or something would help you.
hi chosen I do on a Saturday in our church but its the church we married in so a big reminder, I don't know any more I just feel weary battered and damaged, my head spins, my chest hurts, so confused so many questions, im so lonely, so sad, so scared, I feel as though im finished, hopeless, my spirit is broken I enjoy hardly anything I feel old I feel beaten, I miss her and I miss our life together, business is poor my concentration is terrible and my motivation low, sometimes I feel as though I am finished this has wiped me out, not got much fight left in me I want my wife back please god help me please hear my pain I cant carry on without her
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Old 17th February 2015, 09:39 PM   #8
notDoneYet
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Re: Is it normal to feel so down ?

Ralf. Can you do me a favour? Can you go back to your GP, take these posts with you and show them the pain you are in? Or your minister/priest or what ever? Do it for me mate, would you?
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Old 18th February 2015, 09:59 AM   #9
ralfgarnett
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Re: Is it normal to feel so down ?

Hi NDY why do you say that ?, I have spoken to both my vicar and my gp not told my gp exactly how I feel but I have told him enough, please tell me why ntd I am getting worried now.
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Old 18th February 2015, 10:14 AM   #10
ralfgarnett
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Re: Is it normal to feel so down ?

i would just like to curl up like a snoozing cat and not wake up again, no self harm no tablets no self violence just a nice quiet relaxing eternal sleep just me and my kittys all cuddled up together, the only problem is that it would be days before anyone missed me and my kittys need their food and water and as I wouldn't be planning not to wake up I couldn't give anyone a tip off to come in the house to find me and rescue them both, they deserve much better than that they are such lovely well behaved cute and fluffy kittys I couldn't bare for anything to happen to them.
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Old 18th February 2015, 10:21 AM   #11
ralfgarnett
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Re: Is it normal to feel so down ?

I honestly see no future I don't feel as though I have any worthwhile future I was happy with her now I feel useless just defunct empty flat I want my wife back I miss her in my life I never wanted much and we never obsessed over each other we were just relaxed but now I feel constantly pre-occupied about her and us its eating everything away it gnaws at me and chips away at my thought patterns it has defragmented my brain, my hard drive is faltering I am going to see the vicar I need to say a prayer for our salvation
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Old 18th February 2015, 01:18 PM   #12
ralfgarnett
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Re: Is it normal to feel so down ?

i have been to see my friend the vicar he said it is clear that my health is being affected, he has said that he would consider speaking to my wife in order to initiate dialogue or closure, what do you all think could this be a good idea or could it make a bad situation worse ?, I don't know what to think any more, I don't want to push her further away, could this do any good ?, as my vicar and I both agree I cant carry on like this.
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Old 18th February 2015, 01:45 PM   #13
chosen
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Re: Is it normal to feel so down ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ralfgarnett View Post
i have been to see my friend the vicar he said it is clear that my health is being affected, he has said that he would consider speaking to my wife in order to initiate dialogue or closure, what do you all think could this be a good idea or could it make a bad situation worse ?, I don't know what to think any more, I don't want to push her further away, could this do any good ?, as my vicar and I both agree I cant carry on like this.
I agree totally. The problem seems to be that you cant accept that its over, and maybe by hearing her say it again, and by then cutting off all contact, you will be able to accept it. How can you push her away any more? The contact you do have isnt helping you at all anyway, and she is no nearer coming back then she was months ago.
She probably needs to be told how bad you feel so that this can all be made more permanent.

I do think that a third party who can go to her and ask what she is intending is a good idea.

Last edited by chosen; 18th February 2015 at 05:57 PM.
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Old 18th February 2015, 02:26 PM   #14
notDoneYet
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Re: Is it normal to feel so down ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ralfgarnett View Post
i have been to see my friend the vicar he said it is clear that my health is being affected, he has said that he would consider speaking to my wife in order to initiate dialogue or closure, what do you all think could this be a good idea or could it make a bad situation worse ?, I don't know what to think any more, I don't want to push her further away, could this do any good ?, as my vicar and I both agree I cant carry on like this.
Hi ralf. This is the reason why. I've never met you but I can see from your posts you are in a very dark place. You need to figure out your own way to move on. Where you are right now is not doing you any good at all. You need to learn to let go. There is life after your marriage mate, you just need to go out and find it. I know it seems hopeless right now but things will get better for you.
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Old 18th February 2015, 07:00 PM   #15
ralfgarnett
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Re: Is it normal to feel so down ?

i didnt deserve any of this I did nothing to warrant it, I still feel numb after 7 months because when I think back to the July evening there had been no signals of any kind the she was unhappy, the first I knew was when she came home that evening and dropped the bomb, I feel so scared about everything I just cant face or visualise the rest of my life without her we just weren't the sort of couple that would end up like this I just cant believe it still I cant understand it, after nearly 20 years together we were a rock of a couple or so I thought we were, things like this were what happened to other couples not us, after all we had been through and shared together, we had just got back from a great holiday away together and as ever we had enjoyed each others company very much, we had celebrated our wedding anniversary and her birthday and had even booked our next holiday, I just cant believe it even after all these months part of me still expects to reconcile as it must be some kind of mistake it just has to be.
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