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Old 9th January 2015, 05:38 PM   #31
curo2
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Re: Help My wife says she is in love with someone else

Thanks guys the thing is she hasn't really done anything yet and she just keeps saying they are friends but she loves him. She spebds a lot of time with him and acts like a love sick teenager.
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Old 9th January 2015, 06:09 PM   #32
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Re: Help My wife says she is in love with someone else

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Thanks guys the thing is she hasn't really done anything yet and she just keeps saying they are friends but she loves him. She spebds a lot of time with him and acts like a love sick teenager.
You have to put a stop to that right now. When is she spending time with him? Where are the kids? WTF is going on here? Tell her to quit the OM or get out. Seriously dude she's robbing you of your dignity. And by not doing anything yet I guess you mean sex? That doesn't matter. What she is doing is having an affair. Just because she's not slept with him (so she says) is her excuse for not feeling guilty. Get her to stop now or leave.
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Old 9th January 2015, 08:09 PM   #33
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Re: Help My wife says she is in love with someone else

I just can't stop if I try we end up arguing and she will ask me to leave. I have no choice as I am not the sole carer. She told me tonight that after everything she has no feelings for me anymore other than as a friend.
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Old 9th January 2015, 08:16 PM   #34
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Re: Help My wife says she is in love with someone else

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I just can't stop if I try we end up arguing and she will ask me to leave. I have no choice as I am not the sole carer. She told me tonight that after everything she has no feelings for me anymore other than as a friend.
Sorry mate but that's BS. She's taking you for a ride. You need to man up. That's the type of behaviour that makes her not attracted to you.
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Old 9th January 2015, 08:18 PM   #35
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Re: Help My wife says she is in love with someone else

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Sorry mate but that's BS. She's taking you for a ride. You need to man up. That's the type of behaviour that makes her I attracted to you.
She says that is the problem that I have tried to control when I should let her. She says there is nothing going on. I tend to believe her. If she just wont stop should I just give this up then. I thought maybe given time she would get bored and maybe love me again if I did the right things.

Last edited by curo2; 9th January 2015 at 08:25 PM.
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Old 9th January 2015, 08:28 PM   #36
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Re: Help My wife says she is in love with someone else

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She says that is the problem that I have tried to control when I should let her. She says there is nothing going on. I tend to believe her. If she just wont stop should I just give this up then. I thought maybe given time she would get bored and maybe love me again if I did the right things.
Wait a minute. Didn't I say do not leave under any circumstances? Stop being the victim here. Is the OM a willing partner in this? When are they spending time together? And what does she mean by just let her? Let her go with another man?
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Old 9th January 2015, 08:31 PM   #37
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Re: Help My wife says she is in love with someone else

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Wait a minute. Didn't I say do not leave under any circumstances? Stop being the victim here. Is the OM a willing partner in this? When are they spending time together?
I don't know. I think he doesn't want it. She is just seems like Limerence. She seems to fit it perfectly. After tonight I am feeling like it really is over. She told em that she should have left me when I was 20. I said you don't have 3 children with someone you don't love and she just said unless you are an idiot.
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Old 9th January 2015, 08:36 PM   #38
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Re: Help My wife says she is in love with someone else

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I don't know. I think he doesn't want it. She is just seems like Limerence. She seems to fit it perfectly. After tonight I am feeling like it really is over. She told em that she should have left me when I was 20. I said you don't have 3 children with someone you don't love and she just said unless you are an idiot.
Right. Back to the plan. Seriously mate. What should you just let her do? Go with someone else? Bollox. Go back to my original post and start there. Trust me mate, if what you say is true then the old adage of 'treat em mean and keep em keen' comes into play. She's playing you mate. Man up. Go have a shower, put on a nice shirt and go out with your mates. Take control back. And no, do NOT ask for permission. Just go. And stop talking to her about it. Make it look like you're not bothered.
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Old 9th January 2015, 08:40 PM   #39
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Re: Help My wife says she is in love with someone else

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She says that is the problem that I have tried to control when I should let her. She says there is nothing going on. I tend to believe her. If she just wont stop should I just give this up then. I thought maybe given time she would get bored and maybe love me again if I did the right things.
so she says that you should let her cheat on you instead of trying to get her to stop????
Good grief.
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Old 9th January 2015, 08:41 PM   #40
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Re: Help My wife says she is in love with someone else

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so she says that you should let her cheat on you instead of trying to get her to stop????
Good grief.
My point exactly. Thank you chosen.
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Old 9th January 2015, 08:43 PM   #41
chosen
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Re: Help My wife says she is in love with someone else

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Right. Back to the plan. Seriously mate. What should you just let her do? Go with someone else? Bollox. Go back to my original post and start there. Trust me mate, if what you say is true then the old adage of 'treat em mean and keep em keen' comes into play. She's playing you mate. Man up. Go have a shower, put on a nice shirt and go out with your mates. Take control back. And no, do NOT ask for permission. Just go. And stop talking to her about it. Make it look like you're not bothered.
and DONT LEAVE THE HOUSE OR THE CHILDREN. Tell her that on no condition will you leave your home or your children, so if she wants to be with the OM she will have to go and be with him. She is a fool and a very selfish and immature one as well.
Don't let her control and manipulate you, she is the one who is sinning here not you. It doesnt matter who is the primary caregiver, many single parents manage. Do you have family who can help? if you leave she has won and you have been walked all over.
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Old 9th January 2015, 08:48 PM   #42
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Re: Help My wife says she is in love with someone else

I'm afraid I disagree with chosen this time. She's not going anywhere but it's up to you. If I were a gambling man I'd be willing to bet if you did go out tonight she and the kids would still be there in the morning. Where is she going to go? The OM's house? Ha ha. Can you imagine? "Mum, can my new not quite girlfriend and her 3 kids stay in my room indefinitely?". Aye, right.
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Old 9th January 2015, 08:51 PM   #43
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Re: Help My wife says she is in love with someone else

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I just can't stop if I try we end up arguing and she will ask me to leave. I have no choice as I am not the sole carer. She told me tonight that after everything she has no feelings for me anymore other than as a friend.
You have every choice, if she asks you to leave(so that she can have her affair in the open)simply say that as she is the one who wants out of the marriage then she needs to leave. That neither you nor the children should have to be torn from the home when you have done nothing wrong. Then the ball is on her court, her affair wont last but then you will need to decide if you could trust her again after all this. If you can afford it buy her out, and let her go and mess up her life.
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Old 9th January 2015, 08:53 PM   #44
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Re: Help My wife says she is in love with someone else

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I'm afraid I disagree with chosen this time. She's not going anywhere but it's up to you. If I were a gambling man I'd be willing to bet if you did go out tonight she and the kids would still be there in the morning. Where is she going to go? The OM's house? Ha ha. Can you imagine? "Mum, can my new not quite girlfriend and her 3 kids stay in my room indefinitely?". Aye, right.
I was suggesting that he remains with the children in their home and she leave. If he leaves, he will have no home because she will refuse to sell it or buy him out. She may even move the other man in once he is gone.
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Old 9th January 2015, 08:55 PM   #45
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Re: Help My wife says she is in love with someone else

She works Tuesday, Weds, Thursday and Friday so I am here with the kids. She works round the corner from his house. She is seeing friends on Sunday, which means him. I have been given the advice that she would get it all. She is not leaving. I just thought if we could live as 'friends' I might be able to get her back.
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