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28th April 2008, 10:08 AM
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#1
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Guest
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An apology to Val100
heya Valerie,
I must apologize for my outburst yesterday, one day I may tell my full story in here, and perhaps people may understand my mental situation a little. Nobody deserves the treatment that you seem to have endured, and nobody deserves to be betrayed by their partner/husband/wife by an affair. The person that I thought I'd grow old with, and (romantically, sad and all as it sounds) die in each others arms broke my heart, and not once, but several times over a course of time. I was strampled on and treated like a total jerk. She made me the a**hole that I referred to. There is a reason that I am Sad Bill, not happy bill.
This is not an excuse, this is an apology. I am sure that you have your reasons for what you have done. I am sorry for judging you as I have.
God Bless,
Bill
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28th April 2008, 10:22 AM
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#2
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 104
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Re: An apology to Val100
Hi Bill,
Please feel free to share your story with us.
I hope that we can offer you the support and advice that I have welcomed from yourself on my thread.
Kyalan
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28th April 2008, 11:01 AM
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#3
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 537
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Re: An apology to Val100
Sadbill,
Thank you first and foremost.
We all hurt here believe me.
I too thought I would spend the rest of my life with my Husband. I wanted too.
If you keep beating a dog it will remain loyal it will sit by your side and won't budge however it will lose its spark, it will have huge sadness in its eyes but it will remain there until someone takes it away from the situation and shows it kindness. I was that dog. I am that dog.
I cannot excuse my behaviour and if you read over my posts and threads I never try and justify what I did.
I HATE MYSELF FOR WHAT I DID, I AM ONLY NOW BEGINING TO FORGIVE MYSELF, I WAKE UP EVERY MORNING AND REMEMBER THAT I HAD AN AFFAIR AND HURT THOSE THAT I LOVED THE MOST!
I still love my husband I know I always will because behind the **** is a fantastic man so beautiful so talented and so my soul mate, unfortnately I lived with the person that didn't feel he needed to protect me, and listen to me.
I wish with all my heart that the last 3 years hadn't happened I wish I had learnt to ask for help, I wish I had made him listen to me, I wish that, that time I got realy ill he hadn't broken down and asked me what was he going to do and how was he now going to get the kids home, I wish he hadn't let me take the drip out of my arm and drive him.
I wish I had held on to him because for all his faults he is my hero and now it is too late my life is easier without him.
When I say things you react to them because you have so much anger towards your wife and you can direct that anger at me. I am not your wife bill. I am sorry that she hurt you the way she did you are 100% right nobody deserves to be treated with such disrespect.
I have a story too bill that hasn't been posted and never will. What is done is done. I cannot change what I have done but believe me I did try with my whole heart to fix it.
I got my punishment believe me. You couldn't even begin to imagine how I have paid for my affair.
Nobody not even me deserved what happened afterwards.
Life is very short bill it is time that you start to move forward and start trying to be happy bill. That happiness will only come from you I promise when you do find yourself you will find someone special to share your dreams with.
Some of my posts on here especially about new men aren't what you think This is just me being happy, scratch the surface and there is so much insecurity, hurt fear and lack of trust that it will be a very long time before I am healed enought to share my life with someone, not sure I want to. I still don't screw around and I can if I want to. I am not willing to give myself up to anyone that easily. I joke because we all need to laugh. In truth I go out because I miss my kids when they are with their dad. I drink because rural Ireland hasn't a clue what else to do and it tastes nice. I work 7 days a week.
I hold my kids and say sorry. I question myself a million times a day should I keep trying to fix this because my kids hurt. I did that to them.
Find the sun as I said to micou and stand still in it and soak it up. brush yourself down and start again. I do know the pain of your loved one being unfaithful but hey that is part of the story that doesn't need to be told.
Take care bill,
Apology more than accepted. Today is a new day. Thank you
__________________
Noodle
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28th April 2008, 06:24 PM
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#4
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Guest
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Re: An apology to Val100
Hi
I echo Billboys thoughts, Getting your story out in the open might help you to heal the wounds you are suffering, trust me I know I have been there.
My feelings were exactly the same as yours, I thought I had found a partner for life - How could she do this to me - But she did - S**t happens.
I had a really hard time coming to terms with what happened, I did what everyone else on this forum has done or thought of at some point and probably even more.
Yes I got to the edge of despair and trust me ending it all seemed like a good option for me at the time thats how bad I had got.
A few months down the line and I am still here, a better and happier person than I think I have ever been. Probably dont need this site anymore but still pop in to keep up with the friends I have made.
We all suffer and we all handle our pain in different ways, we will say things that will upset others, but they are our opinions.
Hopefully we can all get some support from others on this site, whatever the circumstances.
We should not be to quick to pre-judge others.
I am not in the slightest bit religous but remember this peeps
"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone"
or a quote from happy me
"people who live in glass houses shouldnt take baths"
Best wishes to all - Val and Lola still thinking about you lots and hope your both O.K.
I am getting back to my old self again - Feel a few jokes coming on in the not to distant future
Lol (Lots of Lurve)
Tim
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28th April 2008, 06:26 PM
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#5
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Guest
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Re: An apology to Val100
Hi
I echo Billboys thoughts, Getting your story out in the open might help you to heal the wounds you are suffering, trust me I know I have been there.
My feelings were exactly the same as yours, I thought I had found a partner for life - How could she do this to me - But she did - S**t happens.
I had a really hard time coming to terms with what happened, I did what everyone else on this forum has done or thought of at some point and probably even more.
Yes I got to the edge of despair and trust me ending it all seemed like a good option for me at the time thats how bad I had got.
A few months down the line and I am still here, a better and happier person than I think I have ever been. Probably dont need this site anymore but still pop in to keep up with the friends I have made.
We all suffer and we all handle our pain in different ways, we will say things that will upset others, but they are our opinions.
Hopefully we can all get some support from others on this site, whatever the circumstances.
We should not be to quick to pre-judge others.
I am not in the slightest bit religous but remember this peeps
"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone"
or a quote from happy me
"people who live in glass houses shouldnt take baths"
Best wishes to all - Val and Lola still thinking about you lots and hope your both O.K.
I am getting back to my old self again - Feel a few jokes coming on in the not to distant future
Lol (Lots of Lurve)
Tim
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29th April 2008, 12:02 PM
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#6
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 537
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Re: An apology to Val100
Touche Billyboy Lol
__________________
Noodle
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29th April 2008, 08:04 PM
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#7
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Guest
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Re: An apology to Val100
Hi Tim,
Welcome back, doing just fine thanks for asking, ahhh thinking of the two rogues, that's really nice!! (Hate the word nice, but can't think of anything better as too tired)!!
I think Val's had a bit of a wobble, but hopefully back to fighting form soon.
How's the new lady? Still going 'swimmingly'?
I am being goaded on another forum to join a dating site, but I don't think it's for me, got over the lonlelyness now, though could do with a hug now and again, oh and a good massage (have the kit, need a real imaginary friend ) as really aching from cleaning up flood water from Sunday night.
LoLa x
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1st May 2008, 09:42 AM
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#8
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Guest
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Re: An apology to Val100
Hey BB,
How's your toolkit? Any good with guttering?!! LOL
LoLa x
PS Tim, do you have big tools too?"!!"
Last edited by lonelylass; 1st May 2008 at 09:48 AM.
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1st May 2008, 06:06 PM
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#9
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Guest
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Re: An apology to Val100
Ooohh Billy,
You're not in the gutter just yet, maybe a few more years!!
Tim is obviously thinking of a suitable retort!
LoLa x
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2nd May 2008, 03:33 PM
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#10
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Guest
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Re: An apology to Val100
Sorry Lola
Been away for a couple of days. Yes my toolkit is massive (He He) Although my non ferous metal prodder is rusting due to lack of use.
Look that one up
Things going steady at the moment - Taking one day at a time - Still having loads of S**t from the ex over the finances - Sure things will settle down when they are sorted but I have got to admit its putting a bit of a strain on the new relationshiip.
Had a bit of a wobble at the end of last week and got myself into a bit of a depressed state but i am getting back to normal (If thats possible)
Hey Billyboy - My drills got a HAMMER action can you match that also variable speed for those tough little tricky holes (He He)
Timbo
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2nd May 2008, 08:23 PM
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#11
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Guest
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Re: An apology to Val100
Hi Tim,
Glad things going ok with new lady. Hope you manage to get your way regards finances.
Hammer action eh? Beats the lady drill!!
LoLa x
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6th May 2008, 09:38 PM
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#12
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Guest
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Re: An apology to Val100
Hey BB!!
It's C cells, but could do with rechargeable drill as had to bolt my gazebo down by using a mere 8mm spanner and have scraped all my knuckles on the patio!!
LoLa x
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7th May 2008, 07:29 AM
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#13
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 134
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Re: An apology to Val100
Where are you Val btw? I hope you have taken a well deserved break over the May bank holiday
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7th May 2008, 07:05 PM
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#14
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Guest
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Re: An apology to Val100
Hey Billy,
Since the H left I have taught myself to handle quite a few tools and am getting better by the second!!
LoLa x
I emailed Micou to pass a message to Val which she has done, but have heard nothing since, must admit am concerned myself, hope she's OK.
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