I have been married for less than 2 months and we are already havering issues.i don't know where to start;
I am married to a disabled man I have been in a long distance relationship with for 7 yrs. I love my husband and respect him so much (the later has not come easy for me in all my previous relationships). We used to visit one another at least three times a year spending as little as two weeks a visit or as much as three months together during the years.
Last summer I relocated to Europe to get married to him and we got married in September. A month to the wedding, I accidentally landed on a huge web-cam sex clip collection in his computer and I was deeply disturbed but when I thought about it and seeing as most of the clips where dated mostly before we met I let it slip and never mentioned it.
However, that discovery has had a great impact on me and I felt like it was tearing us apart so,two weeks ago out of curiosity, I checked to see if he had gotten rid of the collection and realised he hadn't but also landed on even more disturbing stuff. It looked like he has documented all his previous sexual encounters with very explicit pictures and videos and he was keeping a huge collection of them.
What broke my heart was the realisation that he had had sexual encounters during our time apart( even if he had vehemently denied ever having any sexual encounters while we where dating.) and he was still actively mascareding as a single man on dating sites and flirting with gals,explicitly on-line as recently as two days to my date of arrival into the country.
What makes it worse is we have not had sex in a long while ( way before we got married) but we have always been very affectionate and him very tactile all through the relationship even during the dry phase.
when I brougt it up he said it was because he had lost his libido,( due to lack of practice because I was away) he did promise that we could work on it once I was settled here and I have to admit I believed him due to the nature of his injury he has a spinal cord injury T6 (here are the details of it if intrested
http://http://www.spinalinjury101.or...rd-injury.pdf)
Anyway when I did confront him about the affair and the home made porn collection he claimed he had forgotten about the collection, the affair was a mistake that happened because of too much wine one night and that the online flirting was a loose end he fail to properly cut off once he got engaged. He apologised, promised to clean up his act and I was ready to move past it.
However we are still not having sex,we are not talking as before, he is very elusive about what he plans to do about it, and after seeing all the pictures and videos I can't help feeling like he is just rejecting me (he is very experienced and imaginative when it comes to sex so it's not like I was settling to a sexless marrige and this was addressed before hand)
I am frustrated and feel like he probably just married me to have a free live-in maid to take care of him during his old age ( but when you look at the cost of the whole wedding and relocating it is very expensive and I don't see why he didn't just hire an actual carer)
I am tempted to seek sex else where.
The affection is fadding the kisses have come down to mere goodnight kisses, and I feel like I might have made a mistake getting into this marriage.
I am ready to work out our differences and any advise or help out there will be highly appreciated.
I feel heart broken, alone and homesick.
sorry about the length of this I figured if I was going to seek proper help I would detail the whole issue.