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Old 18th September 2014, 03:33 PM   #1
petsk123
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Join Date: Sep 2014
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Unhappy My husband does not like my family

Hi, I recently got married in May and have a serious marriage problem.

My husband does not allow my brother to come to the flat we live in any more after an argument they had. My husband was far more offensive and vicious in the argument, and I don't believe my brother should apologize - definitely not first.

I can't agree to him prohibiting my brother from coming for lunch or dinner every weekend. In addition, I own the property - my husband has not contributed one pound to the deposit, mortgage or home improvements. Now he is saying that he co-owns it, which really annoys me. I understand I need to respect him and ensure he is happy in the flat, but not allowing my brother to come is disgusting and bullying.

He also does not want other family members to come visit us. I consider this emotional harrassment, and I am thinking of starting divorce proceedings because I don't see another option.

Any advice??
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Old 18th September 2014, 04:55 PM   #2
chosen
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Re: My husband does not like my family

OH dear. Why does he want to stop the other family members coming there? Is he controlling generally?
What was the argument about?

OF course the house isnt legally his if it is in your name.
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Old 18th September 2014, 05:03 PM   #3
petsk123
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Re: My husband does not like my family

Thanks for your help! The argument started with my brother telling him that he does not do enough for me and generally relies on me doing way more for the relationship - all domestic tasks (including home improvements), all cooking, etc. Then my husband offended my brother.

In terms of other family members, they are not impressed with him for the same reasons and he knows it. That's why he doesn't want them around.

He is not controlling but has tried it on in the past - saying my friends are stupid, I don't dress well, etc. But I always managed to put him in place.
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Old 18th September 2014, 07:34 PM   #4
chosen
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Re: My husband does not like my family

I have to ask, why did you marry a man who treats you like this? Its all sounds very one sided.
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Old 18th September 2014, 08:52 PM   #5
Raymond
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Re: My husband does not like my family

Your brother is concerned for you and tried to speak to your husband about it. Obviously your husband got very offended and humiliated whatever the truth expressed. In a way though I see his position. Giving unasked marriage advice could be seen as interfering if it was that. I think there are ways to do it. Our spouses families could be seen as biased towards you and it might be better to seek counselling together from someone unprejudiced and unconnected to your family. Just a thought.
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Old 20th September 2014, 11:15 AM   #6
ralfgarnett
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Re: My husband does not like my family

Is there a religious aspect to this ?, the words you use seem to have a cultural tone to them ?, are you from a male dominated culture ?, if so then I think we need to know as it might have an impact on the advice that you seek.
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Old 26th September 2014, 09:38 AM   #7
ralfgarnett
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Re: My husband does not like my family

Why do people come on here asking questions but not come back to see the feedback ?
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Old 26th September 2014, 10:54 AM   #8
ronnoco
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Re: My husband does not like my family

I think often because they don't like the things they hear.
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Old 29th September 2014, 12:46 PM   #9
PhilipAusten
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Re: My husband does not like my family

Did you not know he was like this before you married him? I think you need to let him know it's your house and he needs to start making an effort.
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