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Old 14th February 2007, 08:55 PM   #1
Olisara
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 2
Does he still love me ?

Hi
I am new Stumbled across this forum searching for answers.
Up until a week ago I thought I had it all, wedding booked, my soulmate and never thought this could happen.

My Fiance has seemed a little distant at times but I just assumed he was stressed and took our relationship for granted. I have a 12 year old daughter from a previous relationship and we have been a couple for 5 1/2 years, previous to that we were best friends for another 5 years, he said he was in love with me but I was in a relationship.

Over the past year we have had a lot of stress, he started his own business which failed and lots of money worries and although we had lots of cuddles and tons in common our sex life dwindled.

He has been on nights at a new job in the city and has been 'odd' with me, didn't reply when I said I loved him and when he got home on Sunday I decided to insist he tell what was wrong.We had had a conversation prev week and had decided to cancel/postpone our wedding because so many of our friends are divorcing/separating.

Never expected the answer I got, he said he didn't know if he was in love with me anymore ! Its taking 2 days to get to the bottom of it all but he says he loves me, I am his best friend and he never wants to not see me but is really confused. says I pushed him away so much for so long he learnt to take care of himself and doesn't think he feels the same way anymore.
Said he felt so bad as felt relieved when we cancelled wedding.

He has agreed to try and work this out and even go to counselling, he cries, I cry , he has fallen out with his family over it and I am the only person he will talk to, we are so so close again. Says he hates himself for doing this to me but couldn't go on like it.

Feels trapped and wants to see the world, holds me so tight at night but no intimacy as he doesn't want me to feel everything is ok ?
Doesn't want me to have false hope that everything is ok and then its not.
He says he doesn't know if he wants to leave and then breaks his heart crying and get so upset when I cry.

It took us so long to get together and we just 'fit' everyone says we are perfect together. I don't understand whats happening or where I go from here ..........

Sorry for rambling, just all came bursting out

Sara
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Old 14th February 2007, 10:04 PM   #2
markus
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Re: Does he still love me ?

I think we would have to know whats going on inside his head to answer
theres could be many reasons for his behaviour ranging from ..having an affair with a co-worker ...being Bisexual and confused to just not being in love

My opinion is ... his heart is not in the relationship but he doesn't want to hurt you by walking away
I'd make the decision for him by booting him out the door

good luck

and have these to go towards your collection

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Old 14th February 2007, 10:28 PM   #3
helenrw200
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Re: Does he still love me ?

Markus

you're generous with the roses tonight !
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Old 14th February 2007, 11:01 PM   #4
markus
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Re: Does he still love me ?

My wife usually gets them but this year she has more hope of getting rodgered by the pope



and heres some for you



you didn't think i'd forget you did you
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Old 14th February 2007, 11:15 PM   #5
Coffeebean
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Re: Does he still love me ?

hey markus what about me i'm depressed too?
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Old 14th February 2007, 11:48 PM   #6
markus
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Re: Does he still love me ?

these will cheer you up then

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Old 15th February 2007, 10:48 AM   #7
helenrw200
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Re: Does he still love me ?

Awwwwwww Markus

Thankyou, nicest flowers I ever had !

Helen
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Old 15th February 2007, 11:57 PM   #8
Coffeebean
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Re: Does he still love me ?

ah thanks markus i thought you had forgotton me. Glad I saw them this evening rather than yesterday cause i'm so low i'd have to look up to see the bottom
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Old 10th February 2008, 06:00 PM   #9
Olisara
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Join Date: Feb 2007
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Smile Re: Does he still love me ?

Almost a year on I felt like an update. Turns out he was having a thing with one of my best friends, left me and moved in with her. I moved out of house which has now been sold and have my own little place, have made a ton of new friends and think him going was best thing to happen to me. He came begging on my doorstep for him to take him back but I refused, we tried to be friends but he is insanely jealous so I told him to get stuffed.

He is back with friend and I think they richly deserve each other, he doesn't love her, doesn't want to be with her but worries she will take another overdose if he leaves, she KNOWS he doesn't love her and has to live with that everyday. Guess what goes around comes around.

I fell apart when it all happened, had a complete breakdown and not sure I will ever trust another guy again !! But I am happy, have a new life and found the person I used to be

My advice to you all, looking back on it - its gets better ! When you think the pain will never end and you will die from it - times DOES heal ! You will get strong again and smile and laugh again and the hurt WILL fade !

xxxx
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Old 10th February 2008, 06:13 PM   #10
aqua
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Re: Does he still love me ?

Olisara

That's wonderful news!
I agree with you wholeheardly.
The road can be very bumpy...but it's worth it in the end!

take care ...aqua
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