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Old 19th September 2015, 09:13 AM   #16
Raymond
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Re: Courage to leave my 11 year marriage

Words can hurt msj. His type of words can bring fear even after you have left him. A death threat can cause problems if you let it. One hopes that it is an idle threat. Nevertheless you will need healing from all the words he has said to you so that your self esteem is intact and so that fear does not dog you in the future. Can I pray for your protection and healing? I still think you should tell your family the full story. They will be of help if they know everything.
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Old 19th September 2015, 10:33 AM   #17
msjlhunter
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Re: Courage to leave my 11 year marriage

Thanks Raymond, his threats did used to scare me a lot in the beginning of the relationship but so far nothing has come of them.

I think the reason it is different this time is because i am actually going to do something about it.

I haven't told him as such that I'm leaving.. I have mentioned it to him when he has been drunk and then again the following morning but i don't think he actually realizes that i am serious. Part of me thinks i should just do it when he is at work as i don't owe him anything but part of me wants to see his expression when i do tell him. (Does that make me a bad person)!.

I know i am doing the right thing.. EVERYTHING points to the right decision but that doesn't stop me from doubting myself and my choice to leave! I was always such a care free and independent woman and now i don't recognize the person i have become... I feel like he is slowly destroying me. I know i need to end it NOW while i am still young enough to do so. I don't want to be in this situation 10 years from now and regret that i didn't take this chance.

I would appreciate it, if you could pray for me and anyone else who reads this.. I have never been a religious person but i am starting to think i need something or someone in my life to help and guide me on the right path and in the right direction.
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Old 19th September 2015, 10:36 AM   #18
msjlhunter
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Re: Courage to leave my 11 year marriage

Thank you Chosen, you are a kind person. I just wish i believed those words.
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Old 19th September 2015, 10:53 AM   #19
chosen
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Re: Courage to leave my 11 year marriage

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Originally Posted by msjlhunter View Post
Thank you Chosen, you are a kind person. I just wish i believed those words.
Well whether you believe them or not they are true and I will pray. I felt that God wanted me to say those words to you, because when you have been in such an abusive relationship it deeply affects your self esteem.

Print this out and read it every day

http://fathersloveletter.com/text.html
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Old 19th September 2015, 10:54 AM   #20
chosen
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Re: Courage to leave my 11 year marriage

Quote:
Originally Posted by msjlhunter View Post
Thanks Raymond, his threats did used to scare me a lot in the beginning of the relationship but so far nothing has come of them.

I think the reason it is different this time is because i am actually going to do something about it.

I haven't told him as such that I'm leaving.. I have mentioned it to him when he has been drunk and then again the following morning but i don't think he actually realizes that i am serious. Part of me thinks i should just do it when he is at work as i don't owe him anything but part of me wants to see his expression when i do tell him. (Does that make me a bad person)!.

I know i am doing the right thing.. EVERYTHING points to the right decision but that doesn't stop me from doubting myself and my choice to leave! I was always such a care free and independent woman and now i don't recognize the person i have become... I feel like he is slowly destroying me. I know i need to end it NOW while i am still young enough to do so. I don't want to be in this situation 10 years from now and regret that i didn't take this chance.

I would appreciate it, if you could pray for me and anyone else who reads this.. I have never been a religious person but i am starting to think i need something or someone in my life to help and guide me on the right path and in the right direction.
God will do that, He is the best Father you could want. Talk to Him and ask for His help.
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Old 19th September 2015, 10:57 AM   #21
msjlhunter
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Re: Courage to leave my 11 year marriage

I feel i have no longer any respect for myself anymore.. This is apparent in my actions, i have done some horrible things just to see if i can feel anything, to try and get a reaction from myself if that makes any sense?!

But all it does is make me feel used and dirty but still i cannot stop, i thinks it's because i crave attention, love and friendship... From anyone!
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Old 19th September 2015, 01:28 PM   #22
chosen
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Re: Courage to leave my 11 year marriage

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Originally Posted by msjlhunter View Post
I feel i have no longer any respect for myself anymore.. This is apparent in my actions, i have done some horrible things just to see if i can feel anything, to try and get a reaction from myself if that makes any sense?!

But all it does is make me feel used and dirty but still i cannot stop, i thinks it's because i crave attention, love and friendship... From anyone!
Yes you are desperate for love and attention, and you will get that with God who wants you to come to Him for affirmation and unconditional love. He isnt worried what you have done, because Jesus died to wash away past sins if you ask for forgiveness and a fresh as His child.
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Old 19th September 2015, 05:24 PM   #23
ralfgarnett
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Re: Courage to leave my 11 year marriage

I have started praying frequently again and I too will pray to Allah for you this evening before I go to bed, I have my bible, my crucifix, and my rosaries besides me, I will also pray to Santa Marija and San Nikola that they watch over you and keeps you safe also.
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Old 19th September 2015, 05:36 PM   #24
msjlhunter
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Re: Courage to leave my 11 year marriage

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well done for the weight loss, that is amazing!!!BtW, God thinks you are amazing as well, and beautiful and awesome and brave.
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Originally Posted by ralfgarnett View Post
I have started praying frequently again and I too will pray to Allah for you this evening before I go to bed, I have my bible, my crucifix, and my rosaries besides me, I will also pray to Santa Marija and San Nikola that they watch over you and keeps you safe also.
Thank you. That is very, very kind of you! I hope I find piece in myself as you have done it yours.
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Old 19th September 2015, 05:38 PM   #25
msjlhunter
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Re: Courage to leave my 11 year marriage

How do I ask for forgiveness Chosen?
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Old 19th September 2015, 07:34 PM   #26
ralfgarnett
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Re: Courage to leave my 11 year marriage

Forget forgiveness for now and seek clarity, safety, and peace, forgiveness will find itself within you naturally in due course both for you and from you for the evil beast you married.
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Old 19th September 2015, 10:14 PM   #27
chosen
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Re: Courage to leave my 11 year marriage

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How do I ask for forgiveness Chosen?
You just talk to God the Father as if He is there in the room with you,(which He is) and ask HIm to forgive you for anything you have done wrong in the past, and ask Jesus to be your saviour. Say that you want to follow Him and ask for His help and guidance.
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Old 19th September 2015, 10:15 PM   #28
chosen
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Re: Courage to leave my 11 year marriage

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I have started praying frequently again and I too will pray to Allah for you this evening before I go to bed, I have my bible, my crucifix, and my rosaries besides me, I will also pray to Santa Marija and San Nikola that they watch over you and keeps you safe also.
why do you pray to Allah?
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Old 20th September 2015, 08:28 AM   #29
Raymond
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Re: Courage to leave my 11 year marriage

To clarify I will always pray to the Father through Jesus. He said if we ask anything in his (Jesus) name He will do it. I don't think we need any other props. If we know Jesus and have asked Him into our lives we will confidently be able to pray to the Father.

Am praying for you msj.
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Old 20th September 2015, 10:14 AM   #30
ralfgarnett
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Re: Courage to leave my 11 year marriage

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why do you pray to Allah?
Allah is the name for god in Malta, it is a legacy of our Arabic past, we are Roman Catholic but with many Arabic words in our language and place names, when I hear Arabic spoken on TV I can often understand a lot of what is being said although the dialect often obscures it, the former capital of Malta before Birgu and now Il-Belt Valletta was Mdina and it's suburb is Rabat, in our language and place names we have plenty of letter X Y J Z Q, my village is of Italian origin, but some famous places in Malta are Zebbug, Zejtun, Mqabba, Msida, Marsaxlokk, Marasascala, Mgarr, Mtarfa, Qrendi, I could go on but I think you get my drift, the following is a very popular prayer said at every mass and it is the Hail Mary in Maltese I have highlighted god's name, we love our own village saint and mine is San Nikola, but we love Santa Marija and also our nation saint San Pawl who was shipwrecked in Malta on his way to Rome and brought Christianity to our beautiful Islands

Sliem ghalik Marija, bil-grazzja mimlija,
is-Sinjur mieghek,
imbierka inti fost in-nisa
u mbierek il-frott tal-guf tieghek, Gesu.
Qaddisa Marija, omm Allah,
itlob ghalina, midinbin,
issa w fis-siegha tal-mewt taghna. Amen.
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