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Old 12th August 2015, 08:01 PM   #46
ralfgarnett
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

Whoah hold your horses here sunshine, who is attacking you and how ?, everyone on here is trying to help and give you a different slant, stop being so overly sensitive nobody is attacking you both, we all want you to sort things out, personally speaking do you honestly think that we want you to go through the hellish pain and sh-t that many of us are going through ?, your wife is still under your roof that's a plus point, I'm not begging you to stay pal I have other things to worry about, but it would be nice and courteous if you did, we are only trying to help you.
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Old 12th August 2015, 08:11 PM   #47
Jaxon
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

Every post by chosen has had some snide remark or insult in it, I want to sort things out, I'm trying, that's why I've tried the internet.
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Old 12th August 2015, 08:39 PM   #48
ralfgarnett
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaxon View Post
Every post by chosen has had some snide remark or insult in it, I want to sort things out, I'm trying, that's why I've tried the internet.
You couldn't be further from the truth mate, Chosen is a good Christian lady that means only well and wouldn't hurt a fly, she always means well and will only give you her advice and opinion in her own direct pragmatic way we have all had a our wrists slapped by her but in a nice way because she genuinely cares about other people and we care about her too, come on mate your hurting right now and overly sensitive, no more posting tonight go and get a good nights kip, don't stay up too late, go to bed, kiss your wife if you can then do what I do, keep your hand off Percy Prodmore, put on Classic FM or Radio 4 and give your brain a rest for a few hours, tomorrow is another day, pray for sunshine as we all do, good luck keep posting .
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Old 12th August 2015, 09:36 PM   #49
Jaxon
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

I can't imagine a good Christian lady would, for instance, brag about getting pregnant at the drop of a hat or say my wife is making excuses. But I may at least take something for my head and a nap.
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Old 12th August 2015, 09:47 PM   #50
chosen
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaxon View Post
Every post by chosen has had some snide remark or insult in it, I want to sort things out, I'm trying, that's why I've tried the internet.
please show me where I insulted you. I have given advise that I have gained over the many years of helping others and of things in my own life.

Last edited by chosen; 12th August 2015 at 10:16 PM.
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Old 12th August 2015, 09:52 PM   #51
chosen
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

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I can't imagine a good Christian lady would, for instance, brag about getting pregnant at the drop of a hat or say my wife is making excuses. But I may at least take something for my head and a nap.
I was merely trying to persuade you and her that birth control is very very reliable, far more so than it was when I was younger when i used it for many years with no mistakes, but I am pretty sure that she is using the birth control thing and the fact she attacks counseling and people who need it so strongly as excuses not to get any sort of help or change anything.
Cant you see thats posible? Cant you see that her reasons for not getting help or not having sex are very weak? I think there are other reasons for it, but she needs help to investigate her reluctance, whether its the grief for the miscarriages or something else.

As I said there are many places she can go for help and support, the organisation I gave you being a good starting point.

Last edited by chosen; 12th August 2015 at 10:21 PM.
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Old 12th August 2015, 09:56 PM   #52
chosen
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

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Towards me and my wife. A lot of acting like it's no big deal, when I'm desperate.
Of course you are which is why people here have given suggestions for what you can do to begin to bring changes. I am not sure what you wanted to hear, was it maybe just sympathy? You have our sympathy, but its not going to change anything on its own.

Last edited by chosen; 12th August 2015 at 10:22 PM.
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Old 12th August 2015, 09:57 PM   #53
ralfgarnett
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaxon View Post
I can't imagine a good Christian lady would, for instance, brag about getting pregnant at the drop of a hat or say my wife is making excuses. But I may at least take something for my head and a nap.
Right I was on my way to bed but, A, she wasn't bragging she is / was obioously very fertile but really not my territory, B, she is merely making an observation, as with all of us the truth hurts, I am not saying this is what your dear wife is doing but she is only trying to make you think, right had enough today it's radio and tablets time, narak ghada forsi.
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Old 12th August 2015, 09:58 PM   #54
chosen
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ralfgarnett View Post
You couldn't be further from the truth mate, Chosen is a good Christian lady that means only well and wouldn't hurt a fly, she always means well and will only give you her advice and opinion in her own direct pragmatic way we have all had a our wrists slapped by her but in a nice way because she genuinely cares about other people and we care about her too, come on mate your hurting right now and overly sensitive, no more posting tonight go and get a good nights kip, don't stay up too late, go to bed, kiss your wife if you can then do what I do, keep your hand off Percy Prodmore, put on Classic FM or Radio 4 and give your brain a rest for a few hours, tomorrow is another day, pray for sunshine as we all do, good luck keep posting .
Thanks ralf I appreciated and needed that.
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Old 12th August 2015, 11:13 PM   #55
Jaxon
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

And yet again you say she's making excuses! I came looking for help, not sympathy, and certainly not to hear people brag at their ability to get pregnant. Nor other people starting a fan club.
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Old 13th August 2015, 08:51 AM   #56
ralfgarnett
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

Good morning Jaxon I hope you slept well mate, I have just read your last post and once again she isn't bragging and neither is there any sort of fan club in here, yes we all gee each other a long a bit, and sometimes we crack a few jokes and share a bit of banter, but there is no clique or closed shop you are more than welcome to hang around and jump in the pool too, I will leave it with you.
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Old 13th August 2015, 09:16 AM   #57
ralfgarnett
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

Quote:
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Thanks ralf I appreciated and needed that.
That's ok Chosen I always tell the truth and I really can't tolerate injustice.
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Old 13th August 2015, 01:44 PM   #58
chosen
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaxon View Post
And yet again you say she's making excuses! I came looking for help, not sympathy, and certainly not to hear people brag at their ability to get pregnant. Nor other people starting a fan club.
There was no bragging, I am not that sort of person, only a desire to make you and your wife realise that birth control is VERY reliable. Even back then in the late 70s and 80s, even with someone who gets pregnant easily (and your wife has got pregnant a few times), there is no need to worry about getting pregnant if she uses a reliable method and even combines it with another method. I think she knows that really.

You have been gives lots of advise, ways in which this situation can be helped and worked on, but your wife has to also be willing to make the effort to get the help she needs to change this. At this time she seems unwilling to do this, so you may need to be more firm in a loving way and even begin to go to marriage counseling yourself even if she refuses. You can go if its just you and they are experienced on all sort of issues so will have good advise I am sure.

Has she been offered any help from the medical profession? Help lines, websites organisations for those who have had miscarriages? Has she looked up these for herself?
Have the doctors given any indication of why she is miscarrying? Usually after more than one miscarriage they will investigate to see if there is any treatable cause.
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Old 13th August 2015, 02:27 PM   #59
chosen
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

Just read this on a site for those who have had miscarriages

You may be referred to a bereavement midwife for continuing support. If you don't feel ready for an appointment soon after the miscarriage, you can always ask to see the midwife later.

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a4006/co...#ixzz3ihXx5dEj
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Old 13th August 2015, 02:30 PM   #60
chosen
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

Also this
Getting support
If you're worried that you or your partner are having problems coping with grief, you may need further treatment and counselling. There are support groups that can provide or arrange counselling for people who have been affected by miscarriage.
Read more about dealing with loss and counselling, and find bereavement support services in your area.
Your GP can provide you with support and advice. The following organisations can also help:
The Miscarriage Association is a charity that offers support to people who have lost a baby. They have a helpline (01924 200 799, Monday to Friday, 9am to 4pm) and an email address (info@miscarriageassociation.org.uk), and can put you in touch with a support volunteer.
Cruse Bereavement Care helps people understand their grief and cope with their loss. They have a helpline (0844 477 9400, Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm) and a network of local branches where you can find support.

Looks like there are a lot of places she can contact for help advise and support.
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