Scared

[Lindentree1]

I agree with Chosen. I don't know if you are still married, Luca, but you and your wife only separated four months ago. Take your time to get to know this new lady and get used to your new life as a single man. There is no rush.

[luca3434]

Yes - i am going to take my time. There are no plans at all to move in together or share finances in any way. We have become close in a relatively short space of time, but as she lives 30 miles away and we both have kids in early teens we have already agreed that co habiting is not on the agenda for some time to come. She has looked into various options to resolve her debt issues but I think has been too scared to do so.

[chosen]

I am sure that in another 6-12 months you will have more idea if you are eight for each other, financially and in other ways.

[luca3434]

Originally Posted by chosen

I am sure that in another 6-12 months you will have more idea if you are eight for each other, financially and in other ways.

Feeling maybe a touch guilty. Was with my lady today and her mail arrived. She was delighted to open a package that contained £600 in vouchers. It turns out she saves for Xmas every month throughout the year so that she has no nasty surprises or debts like a lot of folk do at christmas. Not a sign really of someone irresponsible, just someone trying to get by on a low wage.

[chosen]

Originally Posted by luca3434

Feeling maybe a touch guilty. Was with my lady today and her mail arrived. She was delighted to open a package that contained £600 in vouchers. It turns out she saves for Xmas every month throughout the year so that she has no nasty surprises or debts like a lot of folk do at christmas. Not a sign really of someone irresponsible, just someone trying to get by on a low wage.

wow £600 is a lot of money. When I was single mum I was lucky to have had £200. No harm in taking your time, not only for the financial situation but you have only just come out of a very long relationship and most recommend a long gap before you get involved again.

[Raymond]

She sounds extremely thrify to me and not a waster. Maybe you have seen her in the wrong light?

[luca3434]

Originally Posted by Raymond

She sounds extremely thrify to me and not a waster. Maybe you have seen her in the wrong light?

I think you are right Raymond (as usual!)

[luca3434]

Originally Posted by chosen

wow £600 is a lot of money. When I was single mum I was lucky to have had £200. No harm in taking your time, not only for the financial situation but you have only just come out of a very long relationship and most recommend a long gap before you get involved again.

I came out of the marital home earlier this year, but we were living separate lives basically for the past 2/3 years. I feel I have done the required healing for that relationship. It is just the children that are my focus.

[chosen]

Originally Posted by luca3434

I came out of the marital home earlier this year, but we were living separate lives basically for the past 2/3 years. I feel I have done the required healing for that relationship. It is just the children that are my focus.

So are you still married?

[luca3434]

Originally Posted by chosen

So are you still married?

Yes - I live in Scotland where you can be legally separated, pending divorce which is where I am at currently.

[chosen]

Originally Posted by luca3434

Yes - I live in Scotland where you can be legally separated, pending divorce which is where I am at currently.

Luca, I would wait til you are divorced before you do anything. You are still a married man and cant possible have had enough time to come to terms with it. Far too many people rush into new relationships, especially men, and then wonder why they fall apart after a short time and why 60% of second marriages fail. If you are sleeping with this lady you are actually committing adultery which is always a bad idea. How long have you known this new lady?