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Old 23rd November 2011, 12:59 PM   #211
Chamomile
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Quote:
Originally Posted by chosen View Post
I think that we are all judging this man who we really know little about. We are also making serious assumptions about him as well. I see things and him very differently from others here. I see a lot of good. I cant see many of the things that he is being accused of. They are purely assumptions with no proof.
If they get married they may well have a very blessed marriage. We cant always just run when things dont go 100% the way we want.
The main thing Baroness, is to ask for Gods clear leading, because He is the only one who knows the future. If you jump without His guidance you may regret it for the rest of your life. Sometimes we dont appreciate what we have until we loose it. Yes the grass can look greener, but when you get to it, it still has weeds and brambles and rough patches just like the old grass.....
So dont go by what any of us here say, but by what GOD says. He alone has true wisdom.
Hi

I don't know but you do have a deeply negative opinions of certain ppl and you are not afraid of condemning them. Shall I say, you have a double standard. One minute, you accuse ppl of our harsh opinions over one thread and you're even harsher and even more cruel on other people whenever it suits you.

This is a Baroness's thread, let's not start a petty argument leading to Christmas.

Sorry Baroness. xx
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Old 23rd November 2011, 11:50 PM   #212
1aokgal
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Baroness...

Have a nice Thanksgiving! I hope it is a good day for you. I will send you a couple gorgeous hat photos I saw that you might like to see these after holiday to your email, if that is OK. I must get busy working on my stuff for Xmas. I am far behind. How are the Xmas houses going?
Take each day as it comes and don't let your day be spoiled by crankiness from another. :-)
 
Old 24th November 2011, 03:42 AM   #213
Baroness
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Hello, I am taking a break from cleaning the oven because its hard work. I don't think anyone on here means to be cruel or to put down anyone. I realize you all are saying what you feel and I appreciate you taking the time to do so. I realize that you are only hearing from me about gabby. I have said he is a nice man and he does love God. He prays and tries to do the right thing but for the things he doesn't want to change, I think he doesn't pray about them.

I think he meditates more than prays but that's okay, its a long way from going into a confessional. We have been getting along today except for one incident when I finished the christmas houses and he said the colors didn't match and when I tried to explain he said I was getting mad. I did say he didn't know about christmas villages but he didn't want to hear what I said. It seems like such a silly thing but I just asked him if he liked them.

I tried to tell him that my other houses that I painted over the years are different and that's the way I wanted it. Who ever heard of a christmas village with all the same colors? I tried to tell him that a village has all kinds of houses but he wouldn't let me talk, just said I was getting upset. I wasn't upset, I was trying to explain the concept. I let it go and then a few minutes later told him all I wanted to know is if he thought they were cute and he said yes.

We moved on from there but why couldn't he have just said yes, they are very nice. I painted these tall little towers that are the library, a train station, etc. Someone was giving them away and I redid them and it has been alot of intricate work, which is what I like. I have a large table out just for this village because it has grown and I want it all in the same place and lights go inside them and I even bought the white cotton for the snow.

When I get it all set up he will see what I mean. I found two log cabins also which had christmas wreaths on them and they are also going in my village. I will know more how it goes together once I have it all set up but I was only asking for his approval,I have to ask someone and no one else is here, I just didn't expect all that.

Of course, if it was reversed I would have offered my opinion but not before I had set it all up.Its been a lot of work and I just got finished with everything a few hours ago. He and I are a lot alike in certain things. We both have this sense of decorating and we usually agree on everything. Being a painter for many years, he knows about colors but this is a christmas village not an actual house.

I am learning to let things like this go. I talked to my old friend today, who was a pastors wife, and she agrees that I am doing the right thing in going to my moms alone because just because he doesn't want to socialize or whatever his reasons, doesn't mean I shouldn't, especially when it comes to family. She also agreed that God can change him and if not then God has another plan.

I trust this woman and other than you guys, I don't really have anyone I trust to talk to about this. My other best friend who I have mentioned is not a christian so Patty is the one I trust because she's been in the ministry a long time and knows me better than anyone, even Mickey, my best friend. I like it because she has a christian perspective and that's what I need. She doesn't tell me what to do but only offers advice if I ask for it and is a good friend.

I thank God that we came back into each others life and I met her when I was about 23 or something and then we lost track of each other and I found her again several months ago and I can't tell you how thankful I am that she's back in my life. I do talk to my mother but Patty understands many things, has been around and has been with God since we first met. We laugh a lot together and I respect her.

You see, God has provided for me. Even though I might not like it that gabby is staying here for christmas day, God did provide a way for me to be with my family. He also brought Patty back in my life so I would have a good christian friend to talk to. The world sees a couple living together as no big thing, but Patty is married and she understands how I wasn't concerned with that when away from God but now I am.

I have to tell you that I can't believe the person I am today. I can't believe how much i've changed, even down to the way I think and have always thought. I feel the first step in this journey was coming on here and hearing from you ladies, from there on important things happened to me. Instead of God changing gabby, it was I who changed. My whole world is no longer what this man does or doesn't do.

I am much happier in many ways because I have my focus back on God and doing the right thing as far as my life is concerned. I'm no longer walking around frustrated and angry and stressed out. I actually smile at him when he comes in the door and am very pleasant to be around, just like I used to be but this time its God that is helping me be a better person. Gabby has changed to in the past week.

He seems more talkative and some of his sense of humor has come back and he has always been very grateful for things I do for him such as cooking and making him deserts and looking up things on line for him. He is a nice man and I never meant to imply that he wasn't. He just doesn't make an effort to be with me sexually, but now that isn't an issue because I have decided to wait until after we're married.

Still, I am open to Gods direction but I'm not feeling him directing me to leave, at least right now. I have kind of a calm and peace about things so no matter what happens I will be okay. There is no need to panic about my life. So let's just say it doesn't work out. I move out and take my stuff with me and then see what happens. That isn't so terrible. It would be a shame if we did part ways because we've been together for so long.

I just don't think God expects me to leave someone I still love. He could take the love away instead and I've asked him to do that if that's what he wants. This has been a long road but I think God's purpose in all that's happened, and most of it isn't good, is that he wanted me to pay attention to my relationship with him and not with gabby. Once you are right with God everything else will fall into place.

Maybe not right away, on my time table, but that's what trusting God is all about. I started thinking that I feel comfortable with gabby because we both give each other space and then we both spend time together but there is no demands or anything. Yes, he irritates me sometimes and I don't understand the physical aspect, but this isn't a fairy tale where everything is perfect in our happily ever after.

Relationships take work and there are good and not so good times, but I think to find true love is very special and doesn't happen all the time.

I want to wish you a happy thanksgiving.

I met a lady today who lives in the building and she says she has no one to spend thanksgiving with because she has no family anymore. She's pretty old but I thought how sad it would be to have no one to spend the holidays with and that I should be grateful that I have several people to spend the holidays with, my family, and yes, gabby.
 
Old 24th November 2011, 04:27 AM   #214
1aokgal
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Hi Baroness..

Sounds like the oven cleaning is not on your favorite tasks...me either. I finally have a house with an oven that cleans itself. It is on a timer, with door lock and quite a wonder since only a wipeout is needed after. Sure beats the days of brillo pads and spray cleaners with the old ovens. I have to admit there are functions I 've never used. I should learn more about "convection cooking." I haven't a clue and should sit down with the book.

The Christmas houses sound like fun. There was a lady years back who had hundreds of these set up on a special ledge her husband built in several rooms near the ceiling and all lit up little village. I think they spent a week getting it all set up. So pretty.

You will enjoy to visit with your mother and family. Go, and don't let that dampen your joy at seeing them that he isn't going. I baked a Pumpkin pie and we had a tiny tester piece tonight. It was great. My daughter will bring her fab Pumpkin Cheese cake w/gingersnap crumb crust which is amazing..but I still love the pies. We will have the traditional turkey dinner and the best part other than good dresssing is the sandwich later. A billion calorie day? Who cares!

Remember, no one walks in your shoes except what you wrote here. It is just that we see things weighing out all the factors and from what we, ourselves, experienced. Let's say we may see clearer than a close friend, because we don't tell friends everything, do we? I only have one friend who knows most things accurately. She has fine common sense but she also has always been wealthy, independent and never married. So she doesn't see things from the view of having been through loss, hardships, divorce and raising kids. So it is good when there is someone we trust and we can confide when we feel overwhelmed. Sometime we just want FB that we do the right thing.

Have a nice holiday.
 
Old 24th November 2011, 10:34 AM   #215
chosen
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chamomile View Post
Hi

I don't know but you do have a deeply negative opinions of certain ppl and you are not afraid of condemning them. Shall I say, you have a double standard. One minute, you accuse ppl of our harsh opinions over one thread and you're even harsher and even more cruel on other people whenever it suits you.

This is a Baroness's thread, let's not start a petty argument leading to Christmas.

Sorry Baroness. xx
My suggestion of Baroness leaving all of this to God because only he really knows her and him and the future was what I would do in the circumstances. Only God knows the right thing to do and for people to push baroness into leaving him for good for little reason seems drastic to me.Now if he was playing round with other women then yes.

Chamomile, I know that you are iaokgals little supporter and that you always stand up for her no matter what she does or says, but you need to see things more in balance.

Last edited by chosen; 24th November 2011 at 10:41 AM.
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Old 24th November 2011, 10:41 AM   #216
chosen
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

baroness you are wise to wait on God. Only he knows what the right thing is in this situation, and He WILL show you what to do. All I hope is that you dont jump inot something that you will seriously regret in the future.
I do so understand why he gets frustrated by lack of money. Anyone who hasnt been in that situation has no understanding of what it is like, especially for a man. I have a feeling that if you married, Gods blessing would increase.
I just cant understand why anyone would try to turn you against him, who is doing his best and is a decent hardworking guy. Keep praying for him. Its clear God is working in His life as well as yours.
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Old 25th November 2011, 02:50 AM   #217
Baroness
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Baronness

The Thanksgiving meal went very well. He came to the table and said everything looked wonderful and tasted great. He kept going on and on about it. He had been watching tv but didn't get right back to it. He sat with me at the table for awhile and was telling me that he used to have Thanksgiving at home with his family and there were 25 people there. He was in no hurry to leave the table.

He sat and talked about thanksgiving and how the table looked so nice and that everything was really great. I can't remember the last time when he talked so much at the table. He said too bad we couldn't spend thanksgivings with my family and I said I like to cook thanksgiving because during my 2 marriages and as long as I can remember, my mom always made the meal and I like doing it.

My brother called him today and I heard him tell him that we would be there for christmas no matter what. That was different than what he's been telling me. Maybe he had a change of heart or he didn't want to tell my brother why he wouldn't be coming if the van wasn't fixed. I have to say we've had a lovely day together. I'm still putting away food. I had a couple of recipes i'd never done before and he liked them.

Its so much more pleasant when we sit at the table and talk for awhile instead of him rushing back to the tv. He's been in a really good mood since he came in, smiling at me and saying 'Hi, honey.' We never hugged or anything but said happy thanksgiving to one another. Usually I would go and hug him but i'm kind of tired being the only one to instigate things. It occurs to me that if I leave him then I will be taking away my brothers friendship from him and the rest of the family.

I asked him to pray before we ate and he asked me to. Its almost like he's afraid to pray because he never wants my mother to pray with him either but will relent. I think last year he did say a few words but I don't understand why he would have a problem talking to God. Doesn't he talk to him when he meditates and prays? Maybe not.

When things go good like today it confuses me because of the decision I have to make but I did tell God this morning that I would do whatever he wanted but he had to be clear in relating this to me. Also this morning I could just see myself living out in the desert near my mom in a place of my own with a dog and being happy. Even if I didn't find a man I think I would be more happy around family.

We discussed moving out there and he said next year but I can tell he doesn't really want to go. In the desert you can get a 2 bedroom house for $550-625 and we pay $810 here and this is an apartment. I'm thinking that I want to be near my mother as she is getting older. Things still stand the same as i've said before. After I get my disability and even if I don't i'm going to ask him if he plans on marrying me next year and setting a date.

If he still makes excuses then I will have to tell him that I can't go on the way things are, even if we don't sleep together. I'm also going to tell him that obviously he has a problem with making love and the excuses he gives me are just that; excuses and that since he has been sleeping on the sofa for a couple of years now it is obvious that he isn't interested in sleeping with me so its time for me to move on.

Even if I don't get disability I'm going to have to find work and then move out and that's if he won't marry me. I still have to decide if I want to stay with a man who doesn't make love to me and sleeps on the sofa like he's an overnight guest. I hope it doesn't come to that because we still have good times together sometimes and I don't really want to start over with someone else.

It depends on what doors God opens for me and what he wants. I don't know what he wants, I haven't a clue, so all I can do is my best because I can't make plans since I can't support myself right now and God hasn't shown me what to do. Gabby is not going to like it when I corner him about marriage, but i've been waiting for him and now I can wait no longer.

I hope I haven't made a mistake in trusting this man and loving him. If he wasn't interested in marriage then he shouldn't have asked me, twice.
 
Old 25th November 2011, 10:53 AM   #218
chosen
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

It sounds as if you had a good day together, and do remember that many people find it very hard to pray out loud in front of others, That is very common actually,
Have the two of you had a serious talk about.getting married, because otherwise how will he know what you want?He cant read your mind can he, and also rememebr that it is you that has changed and not Him. You were happy to live with him not being married and have now changed. He hasnt changed in the same way, and may have no idea how important this is to you now.

You seem to keep expecting him to be like you and want to do what you want, but everyone is different. Sometimes as wives, we need to be where our spouse wants to be.Many men may well not want to go and live so close to the wives family, and why would they?

I remeber Joyce Meyer saying that she always used to feel that her husband Dave wasnt praying 'properly' because he didnt close his eyes and how that used to annoy her!!!!
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Old 25th November 2011, 11:27 AM   #219
Chamomile
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Quote:
Originally Posted by chosen View Post

Chamomile, I know that you are iaokgals little supporter and that you always stand up for her no matter what she does or says, but you need to see things more in balance.
It seems you have now fallen to the level of a troll? You use this site for your childish 5th grade game. 1AOKGAL is correct. You have a very "basic" education (your childish post reinforced this belief) and you turn into a very angry woman when other posters don't agree with you at all.

I'm saying this out of my goodwill. It did cross my mind if you have hormonal imbalance. You said before you are on a hormone therapy for your menopause. I wonder if your hormone is giving you these side effects. You can be a very mean woman. Hope you work on that particular personality problem you have. You need to stop attacking other people when people don't agree with you and what you say. It's just a nature of these boards.

I won't bother replying to your troll post anymore. Waste of time.

God bless.

Again, sorry to Baroness xx

Last edited by Chamomile; 25th November 2011 at 11:50 AM. Reason: clarity
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Old 25th November 2011, 02:45 PM   #220
chosen
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Oh Chamomile you are so funny. No I dont have a hormone imbalance. I am on HRT due to a hysterectomy 9 years ago which would have bought on an early menopause, and it keeps my hormones very stable and has done for years. Its great. One of the best inventions of modern medecine. The whole point of it is that is stabilisises the hormones!!

What is this thing with my education????
As I said before, I had a very good education in a very good girls grammar school, and also got very good qualifications:-)I passed a hard exam to get into this school, as it was a good school.
I also come from a very well educated family. My father had a highly qualified job, my husband has a phd. Most of my cousins got degrees, one actually in Oxford and one in Cambridge. My older brother went to uni, and my much younger half brother will go to uni next year and will study to be a teacher.
.
However despite all this, I have learnt in life that many things are far more important than such things, such as character, integrity, moral values, respect, fairness, honesty, faithfullness, committment, inner strength, faith etc etc. Look at Richard Branson, a man who I do admire, he left school at 16 with no qualifications at all, and now he is one of the most successful men of our time.(If by success you mean money and position and fame)

I would never attack or attempt to degrade another person because of their education (or lack of it)It is incredibly offensive and rude.Whether a person has a degree, or a phd, or left school at 16 with nothing, doesnt matter to me one bit, and never will. Its the person inside that matters and not what bits of paper they have or letters they have after their name. My husband has lots of letters after his name, but intellectually we are very much on a par. This is what the world values, and the worlds values are very different from Gods.

Last edited by chosen; 25th November 2011 at 05:45 PM.
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Old 25th November 2011, 06:51 PM   #221
1aokgal
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Hi Baroness...

Thanksgiving day was great here. I can hardly believe the news stories of diehard shoppers out there at 10PM Thanksgiving day to begin shopping all night. Who does that? Not me, for sure. I think it unfair for the employees who should be able to enjoy that holiday. It seems that many will buy items now, as the econemy has been so poor the last 3 years. Maybe that shows people have confidence things are on the upswing.

I love to see the early return of many of the troops on TV coverage. That is heartbreaking these men have been away from family often up to a year. We will have so many of these young men who will need support for emotional and physical problems like no other war. They suffer such grievous injuries and emotional issues. I took in some strangers in the past years for this holiday. If my daughter and granddaughter had been unable to be here, I would have arranged to do that again. It is rewarding to provide a home environment for someone away from their family.

Glad to hear things went so well for you there for yesterday holiday. Nothing so great as a turkey dinner with family. Today my husband and I will do a mini repeat of that meal, before turkey sandwich time. I packed up a take home for my daughters' lunch today as she will take it to work. It is great to be able to have a nice day with our loved ones. My husband leaves to work for months at a time so we missed a lot of holidays. Sometimes he leaves before Xmas for 3/4 month trips, so that we live on a rough schedule. He is due to leave again in January.

I hope you things work out on your disability and that will be a help for you. It sounds as if you could live cheaper to be closer to your mothers' home but Gabby is attached to the canyon and that crew there, so that would be an adjustment for him. He might not want to give that up. So whatever way things go, I hope things will work out for you. Women make a lot of adjustments whether we have a man or not.

In my marriage, it is easier when he is here for me, but then there is a lot to be said for the alone time as I can do more creative things with a quiet house and time. It is the ebb and flow of life and we choose to be happy in however things go. I love the creative time and plan to go up in the studio and paint awhile. I get behind on the sewing projects, so it is helpful to me he will shop and he likes to cook, so I can get other things done.

I wish you a nice day. It sounds as if you might yet to spend Xmas with your family and he goes with you.

Last edited by 1aokgal; 25th November 2011 at 09:05 PM.
 
Old 26th November 2011, 12:14 AM   #222
1aokgal
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Chosen..

You said that the posts "should be more in balance" and waxed critical of my posts? What's new? One is then" in balance" if everyone here will all agree with you!

Most will question another to discover why they feel as they do. We know why you feel as you do. I think you might believe yourself to be the end authority and always right. While I respect your views, and often feel personally in accord to how you see things, I don't think you own the right to be that right about that many subjects.

I will rest on my years of education, career experience, and life outlooks to think my views are often absolutely correct. The only area where I see improvement needed has to do with tact. I have the honesty, but need to temper that with presenting things better. I also recognize the OP has the right to deny what they hear or live it as they see. It is true most people will at some time hear great advice and make our own decisions and later pay the price in regret. Many don't listen to caution and act on impulse.

It seems that is most true in the area of personal relations that women will lead with their heart and not with the brain. That is how many arrived at this site. They ignored common sense and blew off good advice to find themselves in a life crisis. "Been there, done
that" most would say.

It certainly is disrespectful, Chosen, to insinuate that Chamomile or anyone here needs to agree with you. You fault her that she sees things clearly as she can be concise about a discussion. That doesn't mean she either agrees or disagrees with me. It means she has a way to make a summation of the viewpoints expressed. You are a strong woman and you have fine sense in many things, but you treat others with rude comments at your option. I often gloss over this, but it is annoying. This is also unkind. Maybe we can agree we all may have a different viewpoint in some areas. It is really up to the poster to get the best advice from different viewpoints.

Last edited by 1aokgal; 26th November 2011 at 05:06 AM.
 
Old 26th November 2011, 03:23 AM   #223
Baroness
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

I agree with you, 1aokgal about taking someone into your home for the holidays and have done so in the past. I also agree about the military coming home, it is wonderful to see and I have the upmost respect for what they do. I don't think i've ever mentioned it but when Gabby was younger he was a marine for a few years and was in battle and this is something he never likes to talk about but will watch all the military movies.

I don't pressure him to talk about this and all he would ever say that is was horrible and I can only imagine how horrible it must be to go to war and not know if you will make it out alive and it take a courageous person to do this.

I also agree that education is a fine thing, I only went to a trade school but since I write novels i've always had good grammar and the intelligence I have is something i've just always had, more so later on in years. I don't think that intelligence necessarily makes a brilliant person however. As you say, Chosen, its whats in your heart. I don't think any one is better because of education but knowledge is always a good thing.

I have a inquisitive nature where I like to know everything about anything. I was like that while working which is why I had three different jobs, I like to know the ins and outs of everything. Not all people are like that but I have always been that way. I like to know about all kinds of topics. I have certainly never looked down on anyone because of their education.

It all boils down to if you are talking to intelligent people or stupid people. Some people are stupid to me because they don't think before they speak. I am not referring to anyone here but my experience in general. If a person doesn't have ethics and integrity they are not worth talking to. I like to surround myself with people who like themselves and have ethics.

Gabby went to Boston University and was a history teacher at a young age but didn't care for it so he and his band traveling around playing in nightclubs and so forth. Even though he's had a college education he doesn't understand sometimes when i'm trying to explain something to him so I don't think his education makes him overly intelligent in some things. In a lot of ways I am more intelligent than he is but he does know history and math very well.

I have never looked down on him when he doesn't understand what i'm trying to explain to him, in fact he has said he's sorry he doesn't get it but that he is stupid and I always tell him to never think that about himself. He is not stupid, we just come from very different backgrounds and I happen to know a lot of technical things with vcrs, computers, etc.

He came from a well off family in upstate New York while my family was not well off but we made ends meet with God's help.I've never owned a home or had a lot of money and money does not impress me, the way a person treats other people does impress me. I've always wanted to be rich so I could travel but it seems I am always working very hard for what I have.

It makes me appreciate things more. I am still striving to make a lot of money through my writing and the hats but it isn't like it would devastate me if I was never rich. Gabby has owned two homes but he knows nothing about the way I grew up, it wasn't really good most of the time but I had a mother who loved me and worked hard to provide for me when my alcoholic father would leave.

I don't know what it would be like to have a nice big home but I do love architecture and I write about mansions and nice places in my novels. Just because I haven't had them or the money doesn't mean I can't write about them. I don't know why some people struggle so much and others don't but we all have to deal with our lot in life.

I hope we can all get along on this post. I do value all of your advice and while it is sometimes very different I listen to all of it and it does matter to me what you say to me. It has helped me form correct opinions on things and when I first posted I know I got very indignant when someone said something to me that I thought was insulting but I don't feel that way anymore.

That is another area that has changed since i've gotten closer to God. Any yes, we did discuss marriage and he said as soon as things settle down and we are doing better financially we will get married. He insists on having a nice wedding in a church because he didn't have one the first time and I respect that. The good news is that he is continually paying more attention to me and this relationship.

Today he came home and we sat and talked for awhile. He met this actor up at the canyon. He drove up to the kiosk where gabby takes parking money and directs people and he looked at this man and said he looked a lot like John C. Riley with his sunglasses on. The man took off his glasses and said, 'Now I really look like him, huh?' They laughed over it because it really was the actor. I've heard of hm but don't remember the movies he was in.

Gabby mentioned them but I didn't recognize them. There is definitely a change in Gabby. He is always in a good mood now and is talking more to me than he ever has. Its a beginning and I can't tell you what a nice change it is. I'm actually quite shocked. Apparently God has been dealing with him and that's what i've been praying for. All I ever wanted was for him to make the effort and not treat me like I wasn't even here.

Of course he hasn't been affectionate in a physical sense but perhaps thats for the best since I have decided not to sleep with him until we are married. I can't believe i'm saying this, but I do think that perhaps we could have a very good physical relationship after we're married. If he has changed this much then he can improve in other areas.

If God has been dealing with him on this issue then certainly he's been dealing with him on the marriage issue too and as I say we did talk about it. Anyway, I don't know what happened but the sexual issue doesn't seem to be such a big thing to me now. I don't know if its because I intend to wait until its right and God is helping me or if I just don't think its reason to leave him over.

All I know is that I have happy days now and it has nothing to do with him. I am happy because I'm where i'm supposed to be with God. That may sound ridiculous to some of you but this is the way I feel. God has always been a part of my life since I was a girl and it felt like something was missing so I tried to fill it in with drinking and partying but it never worked.

Now I have turned my life over to God and my daughter can hardly believe the things I am saying now, how i'm happy and put God first. My daughter is a very good christian and a wonderful person and highly intelligent and so is my son. He works in the science field and kira just works 3 jobs but apparently likes it in Seattle. So for once I don't have anything to complain about or to stress out over.

I started decorating today and had a lovely time. He was gone so I turned on music and even danced a little as I was decorating the house. I haven't even started the christmas village yet because I was busy decorating with the lights and the vintage decorations I have. I will have to finish tomorrow. He was gone and so I could have the music on.

Usually when he gets home and I have something else on or i'm listening to music he will just sit down (remember, he walks 6 miles a day now)and tell me he's going to watch tv now. Today he came in and sat down and listened to the music with me and after awhile asked me if it was okay that he watch college football or did I want to continue listening to music.

This never happens! To actually ask me? I'm floored! I don't know what to think. This is such a change in him. I don't know what brought it on, nothing has changed with the van, but the change is there and it makes me happy and its certainly more pleasant around here now. This is very good, girls, and I never thought it would happen. I guess I shouldn't be surprised because I know God answers prayer but I thought Gabby was so stubborn he's never listen.

Of course I know it can't always be 'up' in life and sometimes we struggle but the main thing is that we go through things together, stand by each other and the other good news is that I got the cable bill today and instead of it being $145 it was $80. That's a big difference. He doesn't miss the movie channels I got rid of and I kind of miss the dvr but I can watch my shown on the computer for free.

I thanked God yesterday at dinner for our blessings in life and that he is always there. Little did I know that he was dealing with Gabby or maybe gabby just felt like he should pay more attention to our relationship since I have been understanding and I think this is his way of telling me he appreciates it.


 
Old 26th November 2011, 03:26 PM   #224
chosen
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: Husband doesn't want sex

baroness it all sounds very positive. It seems that God is really working in both of you.
I do agree with you that we need to be with people who have integrity and ethics. They are so important and of real value.
True worth isnt measured by a qualification or degree or an exam or training but on the character of a person.God really isnt impressed by letters after our names.
I know some very well qualified people who really havent a clue about real life and have very little commom sense. I have also known some people who never had the opportunity of futher eduaction,or choose not to go that way, and were/are the most wise and intelligent and sensible people ever. Almost anyone can get a degree these days if that have the opportunity and can afford it, it doesnt even mean you will get a job with things the way they are today.

I can see a lot of progress in what is happening baroness. Keep hoping and praying.

Last edited by chosen; 26th November 2011 at 06:15 PM.
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Old 27th November 2011, 05:01 AM   #225
1aokgal
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Hi Baroness..

You do sound happier, as he seems to have more communication to spend time with you. That shows improvement and let's face it, your attitude is better, as you concentrate on many other things. That may release some of the pressure for a time. Getting money issues in better condition makes a big difference to release stress.

I removed those pricey cable stations two years ago. We bought a Samsong Blu-Ray player. These are under $200 at most Best stores. Our Netflix service is accessed through the player, as it goes online like cable to access endless movies and DVD in the mail. We can order our choice in films as Netflix is $18 month. So instead of about $120 worth of cable, we have the basic cable stations. The movies/TV shows are through Netflix and limitless. Great budget idea!

I am a penny pincher, grocery coupon clipper and shop no where I can't save money. We buy our eyeglasses through costco and shop only at TJMAAX, Walmarts, Steinmarts or internet sites. I saved $3,000 while my husband was gone in last four months by that and selling my crafts. So setting a budget and sticking to it does pay off. You items well made and properly marketed will sell. Don't get discouraged. You have time to invest in making items that will pay off.

Last edited by 1aokgal; 27th November 2011 at 06:49 AM.
 
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