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Old 19th June 2013, 06:06 PM   #301
freddie
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Join Date: Feb 2012
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Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

The wife was stroppy in the morning as I gave a mobile phone to my D9 daughter and she has been calling me (mostly to complain about her mother). She told me the girls were staying with her today and that was that.

Later she called me on the phone, the conversation went like this:

her: "Are you coming to the house today?"

me: "Why, I thought you did not want me there today?"

her: "I just thought....." "say, can you lend me £50 until Monday?"

me: "Do you remember one thing?"

her: "What 's that?"

me: "That you fired me as your husband"

her: "Well, if you can't, you can't"

me: (thinks) "If I won't, I won't"
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Old 19th June 2013, 06:31 PM   #302
chosen
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Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

Yes, you do need to avoid bailing her out. She has to realise what she is doing and what her choices mean. However it seems that either her parents or her boyfriend bail her out anyway, which isn't a good thing.
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Old 19th June 2013, 07:21 PM   #303
freddie
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Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

Quote:
Originally Posted by chosen View Post
Yes, you do need to avoid bailing her out. She has to realise what she is doing and what her choices mean. However it seems that either her parents or her boyfriend bail her out anyway, which isn't a good thing.
I do not think it is necessarily a bad thing (or I always look for the silver lining). Her parents are far from being rich and they must be realising that she is throwing away their money for her fantasy. If the OM is giving her money then he is realising that it is all about money and that he is spending a lot of money on a woman he cannot even be with and that the prospects of being with her in the future are vanishing. My solicitor has told me that, if we establish that he is supporting her, then I have no obligation to support her.

My wife and I (with the advice from our solicitors) are getting into a status quo, with the girls, whereby we all see each other almost every day. Add the fact that the girls going to the local schools is also becoming part of the status quo - my wife herself has applied for spaces for them as far as 2015. If the custody matter gets to court, the judge will first consider the status quo. This means that, considering that my D9 will not go anywhere near the OM too, my wife has no chance of ever taking the girls and going to live with the OM in his county. They both must be realising this now. I expect that, once he sees that this is going nowhere, he will cut off the money supply.
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Old 20th June 2013, 08:51 PM   #304
freddie
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Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

Well, now the wife is really stroppy as she has no money and I will not lend her any.

I am starting to think she now believes it is my fault she is in this situation......

Hello? Where is the OM?
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Old 20th June 2013, 10:57 PM   #305
chosen
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Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

Maybe you need to gently remind her that she has bought this on herself by being unfaithful.
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Old 20th June 2013, 11:35 PM   #306
freddie
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Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

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Maybe you need to gently remind her that she has bought this on herself by being unfaithful.
I have, I said to her: "you are now living on benefits while your solicitor has probably ordered herself a new BMW"
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Old 21st June 2013, 10:19 AM   #307
chosen
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Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

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I have, I said to her: "you are now living on benefits while your solicitor has probably ordered herself a new BMW"
Well Freddie she will need to experience life as a single person unless she repents and acts properly.
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Old 21st June 2013, 12:18 PM   #308
freddie
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Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

There is one more 'little' problem. Now she is feeling the pinch, she has started talking about 'child maintenance'. I (should not have) said jokingly: "we will see about that". Then she started saying that she may not let me have the girls tomorrow. That is a dangerous area to go into.

I asked her if she was angry, she said she was not exactly happy (does she realise she did this to herself?). However, I think there is something else, I think something may have gone wrong with the OM. I will check and report. The girls are giving her the birthday presents on Saturday evening. Will they cheer her up?
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