Site Areas
Wedding Centre
Health Club
Marriage Clinic
Chapel
University
Citizen's Centre
Coffee Shop
Admin Centre

Contents
Articles
Books
CDs / Videos
Tips
Services

Resources
Forums
Membership
Contact Us
Site map
Link to Us

Search

Take the Couple Check-up!

Marriage Week UK

Marriage first aid

Online support for your marriage

Free Tell A Friend from Bravenet


Home > Forums
2-in-2-1 Discussion Forums  
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
Old 2nd November 2015, 10:57 PM   #1
Miguelplays
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Question Just separated

My wife gave me an ultimatum a week ago; to see my family less and certainly not on weekends, or to leave. Of course being the good father I am, the good son that I am, I left. The story behind her ultimatum I will try and summarize.

I met my wife online (2014) and we arranged to meet in person (we both live in SLC, Utah. USA). She was a beautiful Mexican woman from Mexico, and had lived here for seven years having over-stayed her tourist visa. I am 54, she is 44. Within a few minutes of meeting, she laid all of that out. She told me upfront that she was undocumented, and had gotten a divorce from her husband (who was a dentist in Mexico), brought her daughters to live with her, and stayed. I told her that didn't bother me. It was a first date and there was no reason for me too be scared off. I am Mexican-American by the way, having been born in the US.

To make a long story short, we fell in love and I moved in to her house. I had sold my home five years ago after my wife passed away. Within a few months we got married without telling anybody, and the plan was after we got home form our honeymoon, we would put on a larger wedding and get married again. We ended up going to Jackson Hole, Wyoming for our honeymoon. While up there I let the "cat out of the bag", and leaked out that we were married. Everyone was so happy for us, they contacted us by phone or left Facebook comments as the word got out. The next day we drove back to Utah (5-hour drive), and we were bombarded with congratulatory calls and text messages all the way home. I was driving and letting my wife read the text messages from my phone. One of my daughters found out we got married snd became angry that she was one of the last people to find out. Well, she sent a text meant for me but my new bride read it. My daughter texted "oh, so you married that wet back huh? She probably just married you for her papers (citizenship)". To say the least we were floored. I apologized to my wife about what my daughter had said, but she was visibly bothered and angered by the comment from my daughter". For your information, "Wet Back" is a derogative name for a Mexican who moves to the US from Mexico. Its as bad as using the "N" word.

After that my wife refused to see my daughter. I did not blame her at all. But after not seeing my daughter for three months, I made contact with her and sort of forgave her. My wife never would. In fact the ensuing 15 months, not only did she refuse to see my daughter, but she disowned the rest of my family for accepting my daughter back into our good graces. I tried telling my wife this past year, that that's what family does. We forgive and move on. But my wife would have no part of it. She was hurt and angered that the rest of my family accepted my daughter back into their lives. So angered, that she has not been around my family for almost a year. I go to birthday party's, holiday dinners, weddings and funerals by myself. I have the best mother and father you could hope for., but she would never again go with me to visit them.

In the past 4-5 months, she started getting angry that I was spending so much time with my parents and kids. All of the time I spent with them was when she was at work. But the last few months she has been getting angry every time I see a member of my family, to the point of telling me a week ago, if you don't stop seeing them on the weekends (she called it her time), I was going to have to leave. I explained to her that birthday dinners and such were always on the weekends, but she didn't care. She said I had to stay with her....period! It got so bad she finally gave me the ultimatum to stop seeing them so much, or leave. Who does that to their husband? Now I've been separated for a few days, haven't called or texted, and am at a loss. I want to text and see if anythings changed, but i doubt it has.

My question is, should I just give it time and see if she comes around? She disowned her own parents 25 years ago and hasn't seen them since, which tells me she isn't going to change her mind about my family. I realized last night that I miss the woman she was when we married, and I miss the couple we used to be. I don't think she is going to change her mind.. How long should I wait before I try and contact her to see what it is she wants to do?
  Reply With Quote
 

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 04:48 PM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.


Top

Copyright ©1999-2024 2-in-2-1 Limited. All rights reserved. Disclaimer