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Old 1st August 2014, 09:02 AM   #46
Raymond
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Re: Help! How do you know if it's really over?

With very little commitment I don't know how you are supposed to carry on Always. There probably is a place to say you have made your choice to leave the marriage and adjust your behaviour accordingly. Just seeing a film together is kind of pretending that nothing is wrong when it obviously is. You need to relate to each other and re-build the marriage but how can you when there is not much coming from him? I think he is ignoring something very important. It is one thing to confess you have drifted apart, probably mainly because of his work. It is quite another not even to make the effort to sort out what went wrong. Just seeing what happens won't work. I think he has real problems within him that have not been sorted out and never will be until he addresses them.

The only good thing I see is that he turned up for marriage counseling even though he was sulking and was a bit paranoiac. I think marriage counseling is desperately needed and one can almost measure his commitment to mending things in relation to his attendance at the counseling. Personally I would ask him to pay for the next one. If he won't then I really think he is not making any commitment to mending the marriage. You cannot do it on your own. It takes two.
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