Hello,
My take on this is that on all 3 occasions, your wife has married for all the wrong reasons. You met her at a time where her world had been turned upside down and I think your own quote was very true : -
Quote:
Originally Posted by marubig
I feel she married me as she needed stability but she doesnt actually love me for who I am.
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On paper, your whole situation sounds a nightmare but to be completely honest with you, when I met my wife the timing wasn't ideal. She had been through some very bad times, just had a bad breakup, moved to a new area, had no friends, etc and I suspect her reasons for being with me could have been much the same as yours.
When you fall for someone, you forget the rest so don't beat yourself up over this but perhaps ask yourself why you were attracted to her in the first place? - what drew you to someone so needy and vulnerable?
Everyone has flaws, re the untidiness, etc - you both need to learn to compromise.
Your wife's terrible past will no doubt have affected her badly. Truth is, she could probably do with counselling but she has to be willing. You would both benefit from some good long term marriage counselling.
All the best.