Site Areas
Wedding Centre
Health Club
Marriage Clinic
Chapel
University
Citizen's Centre
Coffee Shop
Admin Centre

Contents
Articles
Books
CDs / Videos
Tips
Services

Resources
Forums
Membership
Contact Us
Site map
Link to Us

Search

Take the Couple Check-up!

Marriage Week UK

Marriage first aid

Online support for your marriage

Free Tell A Friend from Bravenet


Home > Forums
2-in-2-1 Discussion Forums  
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
Old 21st March 2013, 02:29 AM   #16
sirleo
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: I feel betrayed!

Thank you all - there are certain missing links that I should provide to this for a better understanding about this situation

1. this relationship started out a friends input who was common to me and the girls family - i was told the girls family is highly orthodox meaning they are conservative in their thoughts so if matter proceed they will be considering an early marriage (ASAP) since i trust him much i said ok as i think as long as a family wants to decide based on social matters its ok, I met my wife for the first time for 30 minutes only and in a brief intro about each other our horoscopes were matched and found that its a suitable match - now still in this age i let horoscope decide to some it may be a great importance and it was too for them, however we started chatting and things were smooth ( meaning we would exchange words over the fone and hardly in person because they were not in favor of meeting too much before marriage due to conservative ideology) two months after we got married and during this time i felt that my strengths and weakness should be known to her as marriage is a sacred decision and nothing should be hidden. i remember she mentioning that she also suffers from trapezitis and neuralgia which i understood is action based or lifestyle based concern and not as in general to do with weather.
however coming to the marriage - as per tradition and I hope sonia would agree - that first night is somewhat expected to happen after marriage ceremony but my spouse refused and rejected me on that night " by saying she is not comfortable right now" i was a little taken by that but stepped down in the act and went on to make sure why she is not comfortable , i never got an answer but a silence in return, after a while again while chatting at night about all the ceremonies and future , she agreed or gave her consent to consummation of marriage and we did but surprisingly she made a statement that meant she is not looking for a husband to initiate sexual life this fast, I being as mature as I am , i told her to take her time to get comfortable and after that attitude changed on consecutive nights - with issues - i am tired, i dont still feel like and then she in 2 weeks of marriage got a visit to see the gynee who told her that she need to rest for next 3 weeks to heal from the first act of sexual intercourse. I respected her privacy and we just started growing in two different spaces _ i am not despo and neither is she but we never had this conversation and went on to december - i had got married in october , after 6 weeks in marriage and still understanding and learning - chilblains surfaced cause we went for a 2 days trip to mountains and then followed another piece of investigations with doctors as I knew its better to treat a problem at earliest as possible rather to let it grow , as i went from dermatologist and doctors all the till AIIMS, i found no treatment but to avoid actions that trigger it , now having a house full of 25 plus relatives and having to be a bride that has to wear gloves and cremes and avoid cooking or doing house chores - is a psychological challenge so i shifted into a different house next door to provide her comfort and privacy but was not glad with the option as i enjoyed a high status and social circle that demanded attending parties in open, as time and days went by the health concern for her became painful and inflammation kept rising, by 26th January all my channels had told me that there is no cure to it but prevention - I cancelled all my trips with her to mountains and parties coz she could not sit for long or dress up that way to accommodate socialization with health and answering all the questions what the limitation due to, I went into isolated mode from social mode.

2. no price was ever paid of such a event, I belong to high status simple business family.

3. then when doctors mentioned its at times is hereditary i was advised to wait on to having a baby yet,

4. now the initial months were such a turmoil that rather spending time together i was spending time with doctors and getting tests done, then the specialist advised not to risk patient to Vancouver citing worse issues as dampness and weather increase this problem.

5. to worsen this up she told someone that she knows she will not have to work if she gets immigrated to Canada - because i am responsible to provide her food shelter clothing for ten years or else she can go on welfare by simply showing her health issues making me responsible for sponsoring her.

if you have read it all - you think i can change my point of view after running from pillar to post and knowing that the person i married had the intention to immigrate and rather helping raise a family plans to use the system to coverup her pre exisitng problem.
I chose to stay back cause of the indian law - if i live in canada , i have to sponsor her and if she comes, she wants free stay and all that i mentioned, If i live in india then i protect myself and canadian government from a freebee. also if i dont sponsor her then she by law can make a statement against me that i am not sponsoring her to canada and she is left in india falsely and the law has power to destroy my assets and family here.

its like giving the sword in a wrong person hand and hoping that the person doesn't use till its dropped.

i have given up my faith in indian law and arrange marriage.

I hope this thread gives a better idea about my personality and reality.

my question is - how long would you let a person use you for their benefits before you give up the relation.
  Reply With Quote
 

Tags
cheat, health, hide, lie, marriage

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 10:45 AM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.


Top

Copyright ©1999-2024 2-in-2-1 Limited. All rights reserved. Disclaimer