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Old 9th July 2012, 09:55 AM   #76
chosen
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Re: How do I trust him again?

Has he stopped the flirting and meeting other women at work?
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Old 9th July 2012, 10:29 AM   #77
Raymond
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Re: How do I trust him again?

The main problem now seems to be fear and the control coming from it. These will be self fulfilling if you are not careful Sammie. If he has done all he can to regain your trust you have a responsibility to let go and trust. If he has been through repentance, which it seems he has, your trust will be an encouragement to him as a person and cause him to grow. Trust is a very important part of marriage and if he hasn't got that then obviously the marriage is lacking.

You have been wounded it is true but it is also true that you need to be healed from the fear of what happened in the past. I think you have to let him prove himself without you checking up on him and being suspicious. This is obviously affecting your relationship in a big way and you need to deal with it. I would try and forget the past and look forward to the future you can have together.
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Old 9th July 2012, 11:50 AM   #78
sammie38
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Re: How do I trust him again?

Hi both, yes Chosen, as far as I am aware (and from the emails I have read) there is no longer any flirting and he only meets with other women at work as a group, never on his own.

Thanks Raymond - I think this is what I needed to hear. I do need to let him prove himself without checking up on him. It's almost like an addiction, I see Blackberry and I have to pick it up. This is going to take a lot of willpower. Perhaps everytime I think about checking on him, I should have a piece of chocolate instead!
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Old 9th July 2012, 03:18 PM   #79
chosen
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Re: How do I trust him again?

Quote:
Originally Posted by sammie38 View Post
Hi both, yes Chosen, as far as I am aware (and from the emails I have read) there is no longer any flirting and he only meets with other women at work as a group, never on his own.

Thanks Raymond - I think this is what I needed to hear. I do need to let him prove himself without checking up on him. It's almost like an addiction, I see Blackberry and I have to pick it up. This is going to take a lot of willpower. Perhaps everytime I think about checking on him, I should have a piece of chocolate instead!
lol...maybe not, you may get very large!!!
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Old 9th July 2012, 04:20 PM   #80
Forever
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Re: How do I trust him again?

Greetings Sammie,

Each time you get the urge to check or even to question him, give it over to the Lord. The Lord sees absolutely everything he does, even the thoughts and intentions of the heart and mind. Let the Lord handle him with His conviction...if his mind or heart begins to stray. If there is something important for you to find out, the Lord will make sure you accidently run into it...and you can deal with it at that time. You will begin to heal straight away if you first learn to trust in the Lord for the things you cannot see or control.

This will free you to live a normal life...putting your trust in the One who knows all and cares for you.
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Old 9th July 2012, 05:28 PM   #81
chosen
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Re: How do I trust him again?

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Originally Posted by Forever View Post
Greetings Sammie,

Each time you get the urge to check or even to question him, give it over to the Lord. The Lord sees absolutely everything he does, even the thoughts and intentions of the heart and mind. Let the Lord handle him with His conviction...if his mind or heart begins to stray. If there is something important for you to find out, the Lord will make sure you accidently run into it...and you can deal with it at that time. You will begin to heal straight away if you first learn to trust in the Lord for the things you cannot see or control.

This will free you to live a normal life...putting your trust in the One who knows all and cares for you.
Yes, and ask God to reveal to you anything that you need to know, and He will do that. He did it for a lady that I know.
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Old 9th July 2012, 07:22 PM   #82
Raymond
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Re: How do I trust him again?

Anything to break the habit will do Sammie.
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Old 11th July 2012, 08:21 AM   #83
sammie38
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Re: How do I trust him again?

I'm not sure that 'believing' helps! If it did, none of this would have happened in the first place. Whilst I appreciate that faith helps a lot of people, it isn't for us all. I will deal with this in my own way but I appreciate your comments.
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Old 11th July 2012, 09:50 PM   #84
hope
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Re: How do I trust him again?

Sammie,

I'm not evangelistic in any way, but I have to say, a few days ago I asked guardian angels to intervene and help me and since asking I have felt more in control, my husband has opened up to me like never before and for the first time in 9 months I feel ok again and able to move forward.

Try it, it might just be the intervention you need.

Hope x
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