Re: My husband is dying and pushing me away!
Hi Kate,
Please if you read my thread then you will understand. My husband knew he was ill and connected with a person who was equally ill in the past. He is now pushing away everyone he has an emotional connection with and that includes his parents, sisters and me.
He is operating on two levels: A) the affinity with a person who was ill herself and b) no emotional connection with this person i.e. no responsibility.
Yes Kate, I agree he is ill, confused, scared and all the rest. BUT when he joins God we still all have to live and we have to live with rejection, anger and all that goes with loving someone who does not want to be loved back.
I can live with God taking him, but I can't live with some woman being a guiding light to him, a woman who agreed to take a back seat, but has not and who knows that neither his parents (who are caring for him) nor me will have a chance while she is their.
How do you deal with that?
I totally agree with you on that he is the one that matters now, but what about us? What about the love and the hurt that we are feeling? I know you will say let go and let him do what he wants to do and what he is comfortable with. BUT I will remind him of everything he ever wanted, everything he had and everything he could have all the same. Dying is no excuse to hurt other people, but a chance to put things right.
The day he dies is the day I will die. I waited a long time to find time and whe I did I had to wait a little longer, yet I know that I will always wait for him and when God decides I will be with him again.
Love and peace to all of you. I am truly blessed and I know it and God's Will will see me right.
Angelika
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