Re: Surprise Wedding
It is true that men and women think nothing alike. Women think and plan since childhood, about the future and how that wedding might be planned. I don't understand why you would put off for a year or two a wedding where there are children?
The world has not changed so much that people do not think about children born outside marriage as illegitimate. When she became pregnant (that takes two of you) and it seems, as you said, she wants to be married. Was it your decision to wait a year or two? It would seem after all this time she has met with your approval.
There is an old folk saying, "Why buy the cow when you can have the milk free." I think many men may think that way, but having children cements the trial relationship.
I bet she would be really happy to hear your mind set on getting married. I just hope you make those plans concrete sooner because what happens to her (and these children) if something should happen to you? I hope you have considered that and cover the bases for their security.
Perhaps you plan a smaller wedding now? I wish you happiness and think she will feel more secure in your relationship and your love for her.
For myself, I could not live with a man (unmarried) nor bring children into the world without marriage. Someday someone might say something cruel to these kids, as people can be cruel.
Your decisions about these issues may hurt the children one day, when they are old enough to know the facts. You make a good decision now and she will be happy to know how you are thinking about this. This is just my opinion, offered humbly, in your decision making process...not criticism. A wedding will be an exciting event to plan together.
Last edited by 1aokgal; 20th July 2012 at 05:21 AM.