where are we going.

[neil]

My wife and i have been married nearly 7 years, we have 4 children 13,11 and twins at 5, the twins were born 13 week premature and both suffer disabilities,
as you can imagine this put/puts a lot of strain and stress on our relationship i also lost my father 2 years ago and spent a lot of last year on anti-depressants which i still get prescribed.I am since the twins came home from hospital a carer/househusband and my wife deals with hospital apointments although these are less frequent now .Three weeks ago through been stressed and had a drink i told her i loved her but wasent in love with her because she would be out most of the day and also nights friends/bingo ,naturally she took this bad,i told her and have for 3 weeks now that i am sorry and do love her and although she now understands that she says she only has feelings for me as a father.In the 3 weeks we have slept in separate bedrooms and our relationship has highs and lows although we dont argue as in screaming at each other.
We have slept together once in that time she said she was trying then it was a mistake, the saturday just gone she said we'll try again and sunday we were alright i just gave here the occational cuddle to show my affection,and later that evening she said she felt uncomfortable me cuddling her .As we are now she wants me to be a friend and father ,she said she does'nt want a divorce,and dose'nt want me to leave .I want us too try again and even offered to go to counceling to find our problem but she says theres no point because she has no feelings for me.How do i handle this, confused.