Re: Can't get over my affair
I miss my husband of 33 years when he is away at a work assignment. There were probably a lot of men who could have taken his place for a few hours in an afternoon sexual escapade but no one else who cares about my comfort or who labors with our needs in his mind. when he rolls up his sleeves to do his hard and sometimes dangerous works he does it out of love for me.
Others do not have that thought, but spend unfettered time and get out when the deed is done. Hard to miss a man who would not visit in the hospital when a woman is ill or care if she is hurt. My husband came at 5Am, before his job years ago, to visit me in the hospital. . He came to help me and reassure me, in the light of dawn, before his working day. Can you see a lover who would do that?
What can someone miss about a man who is not there during the real moments that count in life? Was your lover there when you delivered the children or had to get up with them at night? Love is a choice one makes. Loving another with a feeling of "missing him" is more what is missing inside of you. It is the space inside where moral decisions are supposed to be. While you long for another man, your husband does the nurturing duties to care for his family. It seems he does these things thanklessly and lonely, while you shut yourself off to concentrate on someone else. Truly, that is not love. That is an obsession and fantasy.
I wonder how 4 children happened, when you do not find your husband physically attractive? Is there something he needs to do to change the negatives as weight loss or something?
You will lose the heaven you have right in your hands with your marriage, as you tune out the husband who does everything for you. True, the affair now in your mind, is a mirage. It is also the ego and immaturity that a woman can't be forever "in love with love" but must have the character to be a woman of substance. How can you mold your children in life when you are so lost? It is sad that the daily moments of your life are lost for wishing for some dream. I say there is too much time on your hands for this fantasy life.
One need not be religious to know leading a double life is deception and immoral! Put an end to the day dreaming and appreciate the good man you have. If he is not all you want him to be, clean him up and teach him what you want him to do. Men love to be desired and needed.
Last edited by 1aokgal; 5th March 2013 at 08:55 PM.
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