Originally Posted by martin12

I found this thread when I did a Google search for "wife old boyfriend." I found it interesting because I think my wife might be going through some of the same feelings as mrsc.

S, my wife, was recently contacted through Facebook by D, a man she had a love affair with 34 years ago. S tells me there was no sex with him back them, that I have been the one and only (she is from a conservative south Asian background). D was engaged at the time and ended the affair to marry his betrothed, whom he later divorced. He remarried some years later.

A couple of weeks after S told me about D contacting her, she told me that she wanted to leave the marriage, saying I was not showing her enough love. What complicates matters is that I work in the Middle East and we spend months away from each other. I told her that I was just tired and at my end from being isolated out in the desert. We met for a break soon after that, things went OK and we seemed to have reconciled.

I did look at her computer one day and saw that D had sent messages of "I love you" on her Skype account. I asked her about that and she told me D was just joking but was being very attentive to her - that he said his marriage was dead.

Now we are apart again and I asked her to tell me what was going on. She said she is in touch with D but asked him not to contact her often and that he was unhappy about that. In fact, he wants to meet her. This would be easy for him because he has the time, money and freedom to make the one-hour flight to where we live.

I don't know how to play this. Obviously, I can't watch what she is doing while I am thousands of miles away. I did tell her that he was either being very reckless with all these professions of love and desire to someone he has not seen in 34 years while he himself is married, or he was just manipulating her to get into her pants.