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Old 20th December 2011, 08:46 PM   #168
chosen
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: Married and lonely

george
I have a great book called 'Intimaty ignited' by joseph and Linda Dillow and Dr Peter and Lorraine Pintus. Its basically a Christian book on sex in marriage going through the Song of Soloman verse by verse. There is also one for women, written by the two women above called 'Intimate issues'. There are Many good books on marriage such as 'His needs her needs' by Willard Harley which does says what things are important to both men and women in marriage, one of the main once for men being a good sex life. Another that may help your wife see how men tick is called 'for women only' by Shaunti feldhahn. She will need to you to tell her how unhappy you are about all this first, as if you have just accepted it all this time, it wont change overnight. Not many men would put up with not comsumating the marriage for 5 years, and not surprisingly!!!!!

After all these years it wont be easy to change things. Her very distorted views on sex are probably very deep seated and probably come from her own mothers distorted views.

One of the things that makes me so sad, is that so many Christians have the belief that sex is somehow dirty and that God leaves the room when we have sex!!!! This is changing however, and there are many good Christian books now on marriage and sex. My pastor did a talk on marriage recently, and how he knows so many marriages where there have been affairs, and he said it is so important to have lots of sex in marriage. I agree. One of the reasons that God gives for regular sex in marriage, is so the spouse who is being deprived wont be tempted to be unfaithful.
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