Thread: Baronness
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Old 25th August 2011, 05:18 PM   #56
Baroness
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

You are right, Chosen, and I guess I have been wanting a perfect relationship according to the way I think it should be and this can never be. I think I understand what I've been doing wrong. I ask you all to be patient with me and I admit that I have been too sensitive and jumping to defense mode and I am going to work on that.

All I can say is that I'm not experienced in posting and so I just say what I feel but I realize it can be very frustrating for those who read my posts because there isn't really anything you can say or do to help me and sometimes I get really depressing, don't I? I don't mean to be, I have always been a very positive person.

God has helped me see some things regarding this and I have no problem with changing something about myself to make myself better in the long run. I love to talk to people and even more to help them by relating to something they have gone through but lately its been all about me and I didn't even realize I was doing this.

I guess I was reacting to being upset by my h and I have dealt with that issue too and am doing much better. I want to hear what you have to say and I want to stop being so negative, something I never thought I would be. I am thankful that you take the time to talk to me even though I have gone overboard at times.

Perhaps you have suggestions on how to post? I just come on here and say whatever I feel and so I don't know what I should or shouldn't say. I do know it isn't necessary for me to talk about my day; incident to incident but I came on here because of what I was going through and now that I am better with the situation I don't know exactly what to say and not be considered saying too much.

I promise not to be so defensive in the future and try to realize that no one is trying to insult me, but help me and if you didn't care you wouldn't bother telling me things that I might not want to hear. At first I was just shocked that everyone had this reaction to what I said and then I thought about it and realized that I have been going overboard a lot of the time.

The fact that I can admit this to myself is more proof that I have changed quite a bit, I would never have admitted this to myself a few months back. I won't apologize since you've told me not to but I will change the way I've been posting.

The problem is that I've always been very open with my feelings and am unsure as how to reign them in. I will pray about it and work on it and if you still care to hear from me then I will appreciate your understanding.

It also occurs to me that perhaps my h isn't the one totally responsible for the problems I am having with him. Granted, he has ed and he isn't sleeping with me, but perhaps my expectations are too high in this relationship. Maybe I am wanting a perfect relationship when I can't have one, no one can, and because I want things to be the way I think they should be, I'm getting mad at him for not being the perfect husband.

I need to realize that we are only human and things happen but that doesn't mean you just walk away because everything is not to your liking. If love is there then surely there is hope and I have to stop being so unhappy because of things that change in this marriage. Yes, he has a problem but he isn't the only one who has issues and I never realized that before. I thought I was this perfect wife and he was flawed and that is very presumptuous of me, isn't it?

Instead of always praying that he will change and do what I want, I should be praying for my own attitude and stop complaining about every little thing and be happy with what I do have, which is a lot. I have my health, a good mind and a man who respects me and maybe can't help the way his body is. This is a very big enlightenment for me. Maybe that's what God was trying to show me all along.

Last edited by Baroness; 25th August 2011 at 05:31 PM.