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Old 21st April 2012, 11:28 AM   #10
arnoldanderio12
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Re: bipolar, an affair and baby!

I'm so sorry about your husband's affair. And what rotten timing!
I've been BPD my entire life and didn't know for most of the relationships I was in. I have never cheated on anyone, no matter how destructive or depressed I got.
While it is true that BPD's tend to engage in destructive behavior which often manifests in sexual promisquity, I think this is stepping over the bounds.

My questions to you involve how he has acted since. BPD's tend to seriously regret their manic behavior afterwards. In fact, I don't think they could carry on a long term affair without exploding from the stress and its effect on the illness.
It is very usual for BPD's to be verbally abusive in moments of crisis. These are behaviors that require love and support and of course, concentrated effort on his part. If he's getting help for that kind of behavior, then there is hope for your relationship. If not, well, you have a child and you have to think of her mental health. BPD's only get "better" intermittently without treatment and effort.
I hope this helps. Please take care of yourself. Your moods and needs are important, too!
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