Thread: Baronness
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Old 24th August 2011, 11:22 PM   #52
Posts: n/a
Re: Husband doesn't want sex

It seems like Baroness has different sides as a twin from day to day. She will ask for honest advise, but will resent the one who rationally gives it. There are constant inconsistencies in the moods and when a poster gives suggestions she shifts to a defense mode or resents the suggestions. Most of us saw certain things in the same light but she will defend the status quo. Somehow that doesn't make sense. It is also depressing to read the minute to minute conflicts from her house.

The litany of the day to day was beyond what anyone can expect others to digest. My suggestion was for her to diary her moods and problems and not a way to police the thread, but to make it productive for all and not a dumping ground for one. I guess that is harsh but truthful.

OMG, do I understand the fury of this lonely problem as it chops away at the identity of a woman and her life. The sexual problems/emotional dysfunctions of her h won't be solved by posters here. The enigma exists in her husbands mind and undershorts. He won't change and she knows it and resents that we suspect that as well. Miracles do happen, but it seems this one is far out there! Unable to change that situation, her frustration was hurtful to her health.

I tried to get her beyond the physical, to the emotional, where her affection for him could remain and her daily life is productive. As chosen would say, faith is displayed and maybe he feels left out as she does so well.
The playing out of every day as a drama in anothers' bedroom seemed depressing, and doesn't embrace the other 90% that is good. My husband in 2010 with had colon Cancer and endured Chemo/radiation and 4 surgeries. He has two more to surgeries due next year. He is Cancer free for as long as God gives him. That is a real problem and not whether sex is a reality or not in a marriage. That's how I see it or maybe I am wrong? I never ceased to love or value him and we went through this time with my devotion and loyalty, as he had it all these years. That is a real problem.

That is not demeaning anothers' problems.
I hope we could bring the forum around again to optimism, faith and caring and not personal "cretching." I have spent a lot of time on Baroness problems. My phone bill paid this month reflects the long call I made to her to bring her up. It was the one step more. Now I'm the bad guy?
For once, I am speechless!

Baroness said to me, " I am not apologizing anymore. 1aokgal, in fairness to you I think that maybe you didn't intend to insult me or criticize me and I've always admired you. It seemed deliberate to me but I am done with jumping to harsh conclusions and sometimes that is hard."
As I said, I am speechless!

When someone posts here there are going to be suggestions from others you might not like to hear. If your mind is set...why ask?

Last edited by 1aokgal; 25th August 2011 at 01:50 AM.