[Shasha]

Hi guys,
I have been quite busy this week and also a bit down with hay fever, but not totally out. Just got a chance to reply:

What I am experiencing with my husband, in this marriage is more than meets the eye.
It is not a normal situation that I am in, but a very preternatural one. I constantly find myself having to depend on the Lord for His strength and guidance, as I just can't and won't go it alone and it's a suicidal thought to ever think I can do it alone. As the word of God says and this is one of my promises and motto - I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.
Fighting a spiritual battle is not easy. I am in the middle of a spiritual warfare and everything that is happening in my life, at present is happening, I suppose, to try me. Therefore, I face trials and pain on a regular basis. However, despite all of this, i have to encourage myself, that Jesus paid it all for me, that I may have eternal life in Him. That I need to be strong and need to be in the winning mode, with Christ leading the way, 100%.

Therefore, it's not flesh and blood that I am dealing with here, but something more sinister, and my life, as complicated as it is, is like seeing things having a supernatural effect and they are more esoteric, beyond what the mind can fathom. I may never know or understand everything, but only God knows all the answers to my questions. Only God has all the solutions that i seek.

It's not a matter of how much money my husband makes, or not. It's not even about what is happening in and out of the house, it's more to do with what God is doing in our lives at the moment. As the Bible states, God is in control and He has the power to intervene in every situation. It's not by might, it's not power, but by My spirit says the Lord.

In the meantime, I have to reassure myself that weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Therefore, I keep myself busy, creative and happy, in the midst of the incessant storm. I may not have a husband to keep me company. I may not get kisses and hugs. I may not be romanced, but one thing I know, I need to press on toward the mark of the highest calling in Christ Jesus. God is my constant companion and it's because of Him, I wake up in the morning. It's because of him I can face tomorrow and I have no fear, because of His love for me.

So you see, in the midst of my loneliness, which can be painful at times, I can still smile. I can still look up, as my redemption draws near. I don't know if I'll ever have a loving husband in my life, as this is at the bottom of my list, at the moment. If I cannot get what I need from the ones that mean the most to me, then why worry. God knows what I need even before I ever get to ask. Therefore, what I need to keep reminding myself is to take my eyes off my situation and place them on Jesus. Do the best to be what He has called me to be on this earth, until He calls me home. Is it going to be easy? By all means, NO!
Thanks for lending a listening ear.
God bless.
Sha