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Old 8th January 2012, 11:44 PM   #6
1aokgal
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Re: Should I say yes?

Freegirl...

You really are not FREE. It is all about hooking up with a man...any man, to fullfil your "wholeness" as a person. Marriages are entered now later than in former years because forever is a LONG time. Since we live longer, the selection of a partner needs to be made on many levels from sociological, spiritual, physical and like ideas about many things and then most base marriage on love...not on getting along with someone. You seem not free when you are so unsure that you can find another, and you are only 20's.

Marriage without love is like prostitution. You get amenities a man can secure, if he is older and set. You bring youth and sexuality to one who is slowing down. That means in exchange for you, there might be some security. The commodity is exchanged for the stability of the mans' name. Younger women marry men for security as you think to do here. A younger wife might be an "armpiece" for an older man with means.

Maybe you fear to be free as a woman with independent movement for your personal liability and decisons? How will you feel to exchange your most intimate functions, as a woman, with a virtual stranger you know slightly? What happenes if his sexual tastes are kinky and unnatural, as you say you "don't know him more than an acquaintance?" You can't know that about a man until you know him deeply or intimately, who he really can be. One day you might wake up in bondage in a marriage that is distasteful and unhappy. You consider making a terrible choice here!

Time will give you wisdom and bring love, if you are not desperate and seeking. Men shy away from women who seem needy. Those who look for a mans' paycheck or lack security in themselves. Many cultures bind women to believe marriage is the only way to live, and that is not true. I found love when I stopped thinking about it. I relaxed and didn't date for a time and had fun with male friends and wasn't seeking. I chose to go with friends, as several friends both male, female, on canoe trips, backpacking and outdoor activities. I joined an outdoor group who went on trips and outings. It was such a nice way to see more of the area on group events.

I met my husband at a party where I sat with a group and danced with whom I pleased. I left when I chose and didn't hook up. If I had a date that night, then, we would never have met. He liked my independence and the fact I wasn't that eager to date anyone. I was secure enough to feel there are men available...no shortage there.

You need to develop some confidence as you seem to be in situation where women are not encouraged to develop their own abilities. That is why taking a trip out of your comfort zone would give you more focus about your life. I took painting trips to other places and met people of other cultures. My husband is German. Think carefully about that decision with this man, you will so regret that. I could never consider sex with a man I wasn't really crazy about. I think you would find that repugnant.

Last edited by 1aokgal; 9th January 2012 at 02:29 AM.
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