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Old 21st February 2016, 07:11 PM   #2132
Lindentree1
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,253
Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

Quote:
Originally Posted by ralfgarnett View Post
Hi LDT it's nice to hear from you and I sincerely hope that things are looking up for you, let me explain what I mean, I have a very small handful of people I see on a very irregular basis, I can go days without seeing anyone and quite often the only human interaction I get is by telephone or e-mail but I understand that sometimes it's just not possible to see someone that your close too for many different reasons, I have a few very dear friends whom I know I can ring any time I want which is good, but I really like and enjoy human interaction face to face eye to eye, I am fortunate that god has blessed me with good communicational skills and also a good sense of humour, I can easily make people laugh with my daft jokes or silly stories, but I don't see enough people often enough, weeks go by where the only person that crosses my door is me, I like going to visit people but 9 times out of 10 if I ask iif it's ok to call round people have other plans, and that's ok I get that, so gracefully bow out and wish them a good day, so when I say about not having enough "supportive friends" I don't mean that I don't get verbal emotional support and interaction because I do, but I don't get enough physical interaction with the key people in my life, I am human being with feelings, and just like most people when the chips are down I just need a big warm hug, or somebody just to put their arm round me and tell me everything is going to be ok, my wife and I were very affectionate to each other always hugging, kissing, holding hands, cuddling, always telling each other we loved each other, then one day in July 2014 that love died in front of me, suddenly and without warning, une morte subite, and ever since that evening I have felt very unloved and there have been very many times that I have felt very alone in the world with not one person on this planet that loves me, I love other people that is my nature, I love my wife, I love my closest friends wherever they are in the world, but nobody loves me back and all I want right now is a hug and somebody to tell me that I do matter and I am important, and that they love me, I'm crying again so it time to stop, but I hope you understand what I mean well in fact with your situation without me being a mind reader I am pretty sure you know exactly what I mostly mean, god bless you and watch over you, thinking of you and dear little Buddy from across the pond.
Well, you do matter. You are important. You don't need anyone to tell you that; that's something you should know on your own. I'm sure your friends love you, but it really sounds like you are missing the romantic love from your wife. That's a different kind of love. When all is said and done, you miss your wife which is understandable and I'm really sorry for your pain--I truly am.

The question is--is there anything else you can do to help yourself? It's been over 19 months now. I don't think you want to feel this way in another 19 months. What can you do differently so that you can feel better? That is perhaps something to think about, dear Ralf.
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