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Old 14th June 2004, 12:07 PM   #2
Join Date: Feb 2000
Posts: 1,115
Re: What's wrong with me?

Dear Confused Husband

We women can be so confusing! but you're right that we need to be woo-ed. In fact sometimes we just need to be held with no agenda! That will sound tough in your situation where nothing is happening.

I suspect that your wife is feeling very hurt and threatened by physical intimacy. Do you think you need to ask her forgiveness for the mistakes of the past?

Where the threat of intimacy comes from, I'm not sure, but she obviously doesn't find it easy to talk about sexual things. I wonder if the key is there in enabling her to tell you how she feels about making love.

Does she need to be reassured that you want to make her happy rather than just having sex? I can hear it in what you have written, but does she know it? Especially if her early experiences with you didn't involve full pleasure for her, she may have developed a sense that it's all about you getting pleasure, not her.

I don't know what books you have read but you might like to look here. The Act of Marriage is a good one to look at.

Hope that gives you some ideas to mull over.

Kate is offline   Reply With Quote