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Old 7th September 2010, 08:34 AM   #2016
1aokgal
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Re: Living In A Sexless Marriage

Good evening
It is customary for me to get to this site when all tasks end... so very late at night.
Shazee, I too find it interesting in how your religion looks at the problems we post here.

Yes, Dakereb, the surgery will be to reattach the colon. Lucky on many fronts..that his cancer was stage one and lovated on outer part of colon. He had radiation done to shrink back a tumor a few centimeters so the area could be salvaged. They rebuilt the section there. Then the ileostomy surgery so he had months of chemo. His surgeon says he has healed well as they hoped and had that surgery not been possible to save muscles there... then things would stand and nothing further could be done. As it stands now, he expects to reattach mid October if all goes well during these last exams. The aesthetics of living with this condition is just awful for someone. I did not hear this before but colon cancer is all over his family tree. There are no children with him or that might be a concern. My daughter almost four when we married.

Your coping skills are about where you were last year. It has been one of shock and hurt for you to hear that "you were never loved." I wonder if that is truth..or that is the deepest cut that one who is angry can give you at this point? In any case, it reeks of cruelty and one frigid babe!
Sorry, you got bounced with that hammer as most would be kind just so if a split came about the excess hate dosen't kill a property split. She cares nothing about your sensibilities so if I were in your shoes I would keep that echo in my head and rationalize returning some uncharitable responses. I know ...that escalates the battleground but really...that is pretty raw stuff.

Doing something nice for myself I signed up for a two day class with a fine and well know portrait artist. My work is good but he has found me out that I cheat a lot to get that work on canvas and has me faulted for my lack of drawing skill. I am painterly and by pass some of the work a good painter does to draw it. Back to basics. OUCH! When one is a lot self taught we jump across to get to the end results. He was considerd a child prodigy and not only a great painter but composer of fine music. He has taken my lack of formal training to heart and wants to get me to a better point. Either that, Or he wonders why he gets them without the best art school resumes. My work is good but the secret is I cheat! Fun to do something I like so well. He emails me every couple days and critiques photos of the work I sent him. that is really nice.

Hope others will find what gives them joy and get that special self appreciation spark because a marriage lacking all intimacy is a kick in the pants for our confidece, isn't it?

Last edited by 1aokgal; 8th September 2010 at 05:33 AM.
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