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Old 12th May 2009, 09:51 PM   #1
crush
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I am left devastated because he has left

My husband left me and his 3 children 5 weeks ago for a woman he had only been seeing for about 8 weeks although he had known her a lot longer. Shocked was not the word for all of us. He packed his bags and moved straight into her house with her children. How they could do this is all beyond me. I always thought we were a strong unit and never thought he would ever hurt me as much as he has. He has shown no remorse and expects us all to carry on as if nothing has happened, which of course we cannot. He has blamed me of course, I have not loved him enough and not shown him enough attention. I know there were failings in our marriage but to say I have not loved him is a joke. I have stood by him through all the bad times and this is how I am repaid. He should have tried to sort through the problems and not run away as this is the cruelist thing he could have done.
Every day I feel I am waiting for him to return but I know he wont as he is happy where he is. I cannot speak to him when he calls to take the kids out and has not spoken to me or the children about what or why he has done this dreadful thing.
I cannot see my way forward through all of this but have to try to remain strong for the children. All I want to do is curl up and hope it all goes away. I cannot imagine life without him and feel dispair. I feel like he has died and I really do not recognise him anymore. He has changed in attitude and personality and I really want to hate him but at this time I cannot.
I know I have to take each day at a time and in time I will heal but this I cannot see or accept yet. I just don't know how to get through this.
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