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Old 31st March 2005, 06:20 PM   #17
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 26
Re: I don't love my wife and never have...

Came across this when searching on the internet about anything to do with "what to do when you admit to yourself and others that you don't love your husband and never have" I have been married for 13 years and have a 13 year old son from this marriage. We get on ok and my husband has unconditional love for me and is caring, kind, considerate and everything else positive you could imagine. However, I let myself be persuaded by him to go and live with him 16 years ago to help me get out of a difficult, cold, failing first marriage. He told me he would always love me, look after me and my 2 young sons and he was sure I would grow to love him. I was very emotionally unstable, with no money and let myself go along with everything he did for us. We are now financially stable with 3 well balanced sons, both of us have good jobs and on the surface everything is ok. However my feelings never developed as he had hoped, he is aware of this and still wants us to stay together.
Since admitting to close friends 3 months ago my thoughts about my marriage are in turmoil.
I don't know how I can carry on for the rest of my life sharing with a man I have no physical desire for. The feelings of guilt at how much I am hurting him by broaching the subject of what I have just written about are overwhelming, how can I live with myself if I leave after such a long time of being together.
I have had counselling recently and this has helped me see that I can't take full responsibility for my husband's happiness/unhappiness, but further than that I am not sure where or what to do. I would love to hear what others have to say on the matter. By the way I have tried to talk about how I feel to my 2 eldest sons and they have said they want me to be happy and would support any decision I make.
Thanks for reading this.
robin is offline   Reply With Quote