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Old 16th March 2005, 12:55 PM   #16
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Re: I don't love my wife and never have...

Dear Squeeky,
I deeply understand you, your story reads as if it was mine, the only difference is that we married for the pregnancy reason, so I also had the problem of accepting the child from the beggining (I was not matured enough at all to have a child). But this is improving now.
I think there is no answer to our doubts and self-questions, one can only get them within himself and can take a decision. My wife also loves me and wants us to stay together, and I always felt that and couldn't separate as I know it would hurt her so badly. But my feelings are just not the right ones. We are doing councelling right now too. So far the results are good, but my doubts are so strong that I just hardly put them aside.
I think a real issue is to ask ourselves weather we divorce - would this really solve some problems, or would we just take them with us to a new location. In that case I think working on a marriage has a great sense because bad state of affairs is just the consequence of our personal (inner) conflicts, not the fact of 'being with a wrong person'.
But if it is the marriage which makes life so heavy, then divorce is a very logical step.
That's how far I came. I believe one day things will get clearer and a decision will be easier.
Take care and good luck!
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