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Old 22nd September 2015, 09:51 AM   #43
ralfgarnett
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,076
Re: Courage to leave my 11 year marriage

Quote:
Originally Posted by melly997 View Post
Hi MSJ, I don't care how much your husband says sorry or that he'll change or that you don't feel scared - it's time TO GO. All too often we hear horrible stories of spousal abuse that escalates to permanent injury/disability or even death. YOU are fully aware of the bad situation & marriage you are in & as much as I believe in fighting to keep a marriage together I detest domestic violence - & that is what you are suffering be it physical or emotional. There is no way you can justify it or sugar coat it it's abuse & no one deserves to suffer that. And because you think fighting back makes you safe - it doesn't.
Your policemen friend could probably tell you of such stories so I'm disappointed that he/she isn't personally taking it a little more seriously to help you out.
My dad was am a***hole to my mum when drunk & one night I saw him break her nose, not something an 8 yo ever forgets, so I know things can escalate. It took my mum leaving my dad 7 years later before he got help.
Do not waiver from your plan to leave because a) it's in your best interest b) it's for your safety c) you deserve to be happy d) it may be the catalyst for him to get help (but ultimately this is not your concern).
I wish you well.
Hi Melly I agree with almost all you have said here, I also would never encourage anyone to walk away from a marriage without giving it a go, but the abuse is the deal breaker here and I agree MSJ should get as far away from that beast as quickly as possible, people such as him make me feel physically sick, he has probably destroyed her confidence and self esteem and the chances of her ever trusting another man are probably very slim indeed which means that even though she could in future meet a decent honest man such as NDY or me she would probably want nothing to do with them .
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