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Old 21st November 2011, 11:23 AM   #7
Raymond
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Re: To chamomile,Chosen,Forever,Helen uk ,Raymond,willjos

My you have been through a lot Hunny. You have been through some deep tragedy and maybe this immediate fixation on the policeman was not wise but who can judge you for it at the time of your great loss. You were too needy to make sound judgments. Were you doing horoscopes at the time?

Then you say you fell in love with a married man but married against your will to the policeman who appears to have very deep problems in my book. There is some deep self rejection there in him I would say. Maybe he never had the nurture he needed as a child and felt rejected. You say you married out of guilt because of falling in love with a married man which it seems you would have taken forward if he had not felt so guilty over it. Guilt is a bad motive for getting married but it seems like he had developed some control over you by then. All in all you seem to have been some kind of cork bobbing about in the sea without a rudder or direction pushed about by circumstances.

That remains true today. Personally I think you need the rock of Christ in your life. One can jiggle all the circumstances but this kind of problem remains. What I mean is the lack of direction in your life. He is the one who dealt with our guilt at the cross and it is only Him who can grant us the forgiveness He has already paid for. Not only that but He gives us a new heart and strength to live our lives for Him. No lack of direction there.
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