Thread: Broke boyfriend
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Old 18th April 2015, 08:49 PM   #50
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Join Date: Mar 2015
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Re: Broke boyfriend

Originally Posted by 1aokgal View Post
Hi Lindentree...

I was relieved to E-file and get taxes behind. His company is out of state, and does not take VA taxes. That means a state tax bill due. I need to put 30% banked aside, so if a new tax preparer is not as creative with itemized deductions, the money is set aside in a separate account. It is unlikely I will find someone who does it as well. I don't need the stress.

You were going to file separately and got pressure on that idea. How did that go? I had the feeling you were lulled along with a promise of getting back together, then told that wasn't happening. That was really cold. Did you think there was another woman?
Once people are apart it seldom leads to getting things worked out. The best time for honesty and work on marital issues seems to be while both are under the same roof. I hear some say they will do a trial separation. That seems to be the end, more than improve things. In your position now, I would not be rushed into any decisions without getting good advise.

Men seem to be able to bring down a wall more than women. I think women always want to reach out and make things better.

My husband is gone 3 months each tour, back 8 weeks and gone again. So at least 6+ months a year gone. He promised when we married he would never take a travel job. I picture when it was said that he had his fingers crossed, on that promise, so it doesn't count! It actually was for me one of the only conditions I had on the marriage. So we don't get a "do over" after 35 years! I think I do have good coping mechanisms and through the years made the time pay off for me. Of course, he would rather be home than breaking his butt working those long shifts, but he does like his job. He likes to see the world.

When one has optimism to see good in most situations, the view of our personal world is one of happiness and satisfaction. If we compromise, we don't lose anything to be the one who says "sorry" and we don't hold grudges. I can't remember having an argument with my husband unless I go back 25 years. We are almost boring, we feel so much alike on most subjects. Also, he is funny. One cannot argue with a funny person.
Well, I do regret moving out after he told me he wanted to split up. I was gone in less than a month, and our house sold quickly. I should have stayed and fought for my marriage. I was so devastated by what he said I wanted to run away. There was no woman at the time. Did he string me along for months saying we may or may not get back together? Yes. Did he eventually say it was over by email? Yes. Is he dating now? I have no idea.

People do leave and get back together. My friend's wife moved out and eventually came back home. But I am expecting nothing. I am going quiet at my end. I'm in no rush and I am only going to contact my lawyer when it's absolutely required. I'm just tired, and I need a break from all the madness.

Yes, we filed jointly. I decided it was much easier for me. He took care of it all online and emailed me copies of all the paperwork and expected return--it wasn't much, but something is better than nothing.

Hope you're well. Thirty-five years of marriage is something to be proud of. I think it's spectacular.
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