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Re: What is the right thing to do for my wife right now?
That's a very perceptive reply, Confused. I admit I'm surprised - you're definitely taking on board what you have learned!
It will be interesting to hear how you apply your learning about your wife's 'pleasing' behaviour patterns. Her over-compliance suggests she has some long-term issues which, as Jazz implied, have been agitated by her father's death.
It's fantastic that you're both going to counselling. I believe there's a real possibility that you will end up together, in a far happier marriage - the one you both wanted from the beginning, if only you'd known how!
This is a tricky path to climb. But worth it. I wish you both the very best of luck, and a helping hand when you most need it. If your wife knows you're posting to a forum, please give her my warm wishes - and the same to you, of course.
AG
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