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Old 25th August 2009, 10:11 AM   #14
Purple lady
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Re: Please help me sort this

Thanks everyone for your comments, we talked last night, mainly brought on by my inability to manage to eat or if i do keep it down, i know that he loves me and i know that he is making a mistake and i told him this, altho i also realise that what he feels at the minute is genuine as he looks awful and is feeling as equally as bad as i am just for different reasons. I said that we had 23 years with each other and couldnt throw that away on him saying that he feels something is missing but doesnt know what, and that if he did it may turn out to be the biggest mistake of his life. We both agreed to try and relax a bit on the whole situation altho whilst we agreed on this and talked sometimes i think it goes round the outside of his head and isnt actually taken in. I am still hopeful that i can turn this round but he says i have to stop talking long term and just see. sometimes i am so hopeful and others i just want to hide in the bed and see no-one. I honestly dont think i could cope if he left me, he has been my past, present and without him there isnt a future that i want. i really dont think there is anyone else, he is very straight but he is never actually anywhere without me, he doesnt hide his phone or jump when it rings or texts etc and the bills are just left about altho i suppose you can never be 100% about anything. I feel abit more upbeat today but i also relaise that this could be pulled away from me at any time. For all of you going thru similar or worse my heart aches for you all, i never in my life have felt as bad, or imagined that anything could make me feel this way and if the worse does happen i cant see away out of it
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