[jools]

Hi Marky
Just happened to look in and saw your post. I noticed that all of the respondents so far are male so I thought I'd just add a female perspective on this. While I think that all of the comments so far have been sensible and feasible there is one aspect missing. I know some people will respond very defensively to what I'm about to say but here goes. It's been a long standing joke about women faking orgasms but there's also another hidden side to female sexuality (well, hidden from the men). Raymond touched on it when he said how men tend to be the initiators in most sexual encounters in marriage. A high percentage of women in long term relationships find sex boring and in some cases a complete turn off. Especially after having children. Now I'm sure there are many females out there about to dispute this but you talk to any large gathering of married women and most of them will joke about all of the things that they'd rather do or have than sex. So when they are pressed to seek counselling, they don't want to because as far as they're concerned they don't have a problem. Some women lie back and think of England but some (like your wife) can't even be bothered. If it is a childhood problem you'd think it would have surfaced before you had the children - but you said sex was good then. I reckon she's just bored.

Now the serious bit. While she doesn't see her lack of a sex drive as a problem (because it doesn't bother her - you said so yourself), it IS a problem because it's going to lead to the end of your marriage - because of how you are feeling. She needs to be aware that this is likely to happen. I mean spell it out to her in no uncertain terms - because in a moment you could find yourself falling out of love with her and then there really will be no return. Believe me, I'm speaking from experience!
Jools XX