[Raymond]

I don't think going alone is an answer Jan. You have problems of course and need to work through them in your time, not when you or him are stressed out.

Your husband sounds like he is very strong willed. That is not necessarily bad but he needs to be sensitive to you as well and not be so impulsive. He sounds stressed to me and it could be that overwork is getting to him. At least he apologised about the telephone incident so he knew he was wrong.

I would suggest going out and doing something together outside of the home without being under pressure and discover again what it was you loved about each other initially. This is important to your marriage. Time out especially for you two. If you find that difficult to do then you have to ask yourself whether you have not forgiven him for something. Any funny business must be cleared between you first and not sorted out whilst you are out together as that must be a clear time for you to enjoy together.

If he hasn't got time for that then something is wrong with his schedule.

I would also recommend that you look at the book The Five Languages of Love. I am at work now but the writer's surname is Chapman. One of the love languages are Words of Affirmation which may be your one perhaps. I can see that if he worked on this your self esteem would rise and you would feel loved more. I am not talking about flattery here just genuine affirmation of your good points. We all have them.